


Helaena.

by BonnieBee101



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Dornish, Elia gets the last laugh, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, OC is visenya, Original Character as the thid child of Elia Martell, Sorry not fucking sorry, Time Travel, accidental change of events, do not take this seriously, i hate them, its why it so bad, kind of, kind of anti lyanna, kind of anti rhargar, kind of not for R&L fans, my bad - Freeform, no beta we die like men, this is like a dream fic, this is really badly written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23690305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BonnieBee101/pseuds/BonnieBee101
Summary: Elia Martell birthed a third child in secret a year before her death, kept hidden from the world. Raised in the Free Cities with Daenerys and Viserys, she is given a chance to meet her mother, but she doesn't end up where she wanted to be. Finding herself in the Tower of Joy.What does she do?Well, she fucks everything up, because her mother had deserved better and because I said so!*This bitch is long**Do Not Take Seriously*The third chapter is basically a different verison of chapter 1!
Comments: 68
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

The red woman had promised, promised that this would allow her to see her mother, her sister and her brother. She had thought to find herself in the Red Keep, where they had died. It would have been almost impossible to get inside to see them, but to hide as a servant girl to see them? It was possible.

But it was not where she was.

The first thing she noticed was the heat. It was so hot and she had to sweep her dark silver hair up and away from her neck, as she looked around. There was a window up from a bed, she carefully climbed onto the bed to look through it, there was nothing but sand and mountains in the distance. This was not a place she recognised, not a place she had travelled with her and aunt and uncle through the years, shaking her head she jumped off of the bed and headed towards the door. It was a heavy door, but entering the narrow hallway, it was a large tower with more doors going off in different directions but she headed down the stairs, there were so many. But finally, she found herself at the bottom and there was nothing in front of her save the sand and the heat. Shaking her head she could make out something in the distance, a cloud of sand hovering and moving with the wind and it frightened her, sending her running back up and into the room. This must be her mother’s home, Dorne, she had never been but there was a calling inside of her to see the world and this was the place she had wanted to come to, more than anything else in the world. But it had been too dangerous back then and it was dangerous now.

It had been a few days since she came here, her supplies had almost run out and she knew, deep inside there was no way to her mother from here. She had no way of leaving this place, she would die from the heat. She slept, ate and wrote, that was all she did, all day and night. It would not take much for her to go back, back to her aunt with an apology and tears for her leaving on this stupid quest for answers. Aunt Dany would welcome her back with open arms and a smile on her face, she would have wanted to see her own mother, but there was no freedom for her Aunt. sometimes she would dance, wide steps and waving arms, like a child, sometimes she still felt like a child. The room was beautiful, made for a Princess locked in a tower. 

She was taking one last look out of the window her decision to leave and go home, made up when she saw them. A small group on horseback heading towards her tower. She pulled back from the window in fear, her heart pounding so hard and fast in her chest, there was fear inside of her. She rushed to one of the chests in the room, pushing it in front of the door to keep them out and it would not take much to get it open. But it made her feel better.

She moved back to the window, there were four horse riders in front of the group, leading them to her tower. They could not be coming for her, nobody knew she was here and it had her gripping her dress so tightly, she thought it might rip. Could they see her? Would they kill her? Did the tower belong to them and she an intruder? 

They were closing in now, she could hear them talking. They laughed with one another, stopping below and jumping from their horses and tied the horses up. They were waiting for the other two to join them and it was only when they got closer that she realised where she was and who these people were.

Her heart no longer pounded with fear, but with anger, deep unseeled hatred began filling her every pore and her whole body shook with it. Of course, the Gods were not fair to her mother, why would they be fair to her? She wanted to scream and yell, they would have to break this door down before she let them in, she would kill them before they had the chance to see her face. Ser Jon had always told her, she had her mothers face, skin colouring but everything else from her smile, her eyes and her laugh, had been her father’s. 

Should she greet them at the stairs? 

No.

They would know someone was here regardless, she had not hidden from the tower. Her cloak was at the entrance, it had been far too warm to keep it on. She had explored dusty rooms and moved things, they would know and she would make them wait, she might not have her mother’s name, but she was still as much a Princess as she had been and she would have her strength to pull her through this.

The voices stopped, and she threw herself back across the bed and to the window. The two others had finally joined them and she was enchanted by the man’s face, he was pale and so beautiful. His hair shone like starlight and she had no need to imagine his eyes, all she needed was a looking glass to see them.

He looked just like Aunt Dany did. 

Unearthly and lovely. 

She felt a smirk pull at her face at the girl, she was plain and boring. Dark hair, pale skin and there was nothing she could see that drew her in. She was unhappy her father had not lived long enough to know that this Northern bitch would give him nothing but a barren womb. Her mother had been humiliated, looked over and yet, it was the weak, Dornish wife that gave him a third child. 

They stood there for a while, before a face was looking up at her window, eye widened and he cried out. She pulled away from the window, they would come now, and she would wait. Happily. She might not have been able to meet her mother, but the Gods would not stop her from seeing her father and let him know, know that he was a disgrace to his mother and to her. 

The pounding on the door began as she got herself comfortable, lounging back on the bed. She wore her mother’s colours, orange and red, a dress her Aunt had given her on her last name day. It was light, almost translucent, but she had no care for the property, not now he was so close to coming through that door.  
They had said she was a vision in it, it would be the thing her father remembered when he died. The sight of the daughter he thought his Northern bitch would give him, would he be disappointed? After all, everything he had done came to nothing in the end, the war and the deaths, all for nothing. 

The chest in front of the door began to move. It would put up a struggle, but not under the pressure of all those men. She would not be here for too long, there was just enough potion to get her back. The Red Woman had been wrong, this would not bring her peace. She was angry, she had come here to see her mother and the Gods laughed at her and sent her here, sent her to the man and girl that had caused the deaths of her family and all of those people. 

“Open this door!”

It took only minutes for the chest to be crushed against the wall and there were four men in the doorway, holding swords and looking fierce. The man in the front was young, and Dornish, he was lovely in a way, had he not been holding a sword pointed right at her.

“State your business!”

She tilted her head to the side, it drew their eyes to her finally and the Dornish man dropped his sword in shock. It made such a sharp and loud sound, that it echoed around the room and caught the attention of the others stood behind him.

“There was nobody here, so I stayed a short while.”

Her voice echoed in the silence, her voice hoarse from lack of use but the man stepped into the room, stepping over his dropped sword and towards her. His eyes never left her face, “Impossible.” it was whispered but she heard well enough, he now stood so close to her that had she been inclined, she could have reached out and touched him. His hands were shaking as he looked at her.

“Your face.”

“Arthur?”

The new voice was deep, concern heavy in his voice. She only looked at the man stood in front of her, his body kept her from view and she never let her eyes move from his face. Arthur, this would have to be the brother of Ashara Dayne. A traitor in the eyes of many Dornish men and women, the Dornish man that had abandoned his Princess and her children to die. He was handsome, dark black hair and dark eyes, she almost expected violet or purples eyes like his sister was said to have. She smiled at him and he stumbled back in the arms of another, he was shaking and there was only shock and confusion in his eyes as he turned towards his King.

“My Prince.”

“Arthur wha-”

Purple eyes met purple eyes and it took everything in her not to turn hers away. She would not show anything but anger towards this man, but he was so beautiful it hurt to look at him, if she looked too long then maybe her anger would disappear and that was something she was unwilling to give up. 

“Hello.”

He flinched at her voice, “Who are you? How did you find this place?” she crossed her arms in front of her chest, sitting up straighter and smiled at him, it was not the same smile she would have given her mother, it was a smile reserved for men that broke their vowes and left their family for dead. She could see the Northern girl now, stood back in the hallway and she looked like a child, stood defiant as though she had the right to be here. She smirked at her.

“My name is Helaena. It was an accident that I came here, but I will not be here for long.”

“How did you find this place?”

It was Arthur who spoke this time, shock still hung onto his question but there was something else in his eyes like he was confused by her, which was to be expected. But she owed nothing to this Dornish traitor, nor would she answer to him.

“I do not answer to traitors.”

The reaction was immediate, swords were raised and her father narrowed his eyes at her, she wanted to laugh. This was never supposed to happen, she had never wanted to see this man, she had wanted her mother and siblings. Even her Grandmother. Never him. 

“Who are you, to speak to my Kingsguard as though you have the right to question him?”

“Who I am, is of no concern to you. I answer to no one.”

He looked around the room, she had made it her own in the few days she had been here. Her bag lay open on the floor, her dresses thrown over chairs and it as her Aunt’s necklace that drew his attention. It was large, three Dragon heads with amethyst eyes. He had picked it from its place before she had a chance to stop him. She all but spat at him when he did so, and he turned to face her, it was a necklace he would recognise. It had belonged to her Grandmother, then her Aunt. He threw his hand up towards the door, eyes blazing, “Leave us!”

“Your Grace!”

“Do not question me. Leave.”

He spared no looks for them before the door closed and she was alone with him. She walked away from him, her back to the wall. He was stood by her bag, the potion inside of it and she had no way of getting it, not without him catching her first.

“I asked you a question. Who are you?”

“As I told your Dornish pet, my name is Helaena.”

“A Targaryen name, yet I do not know your face. Why have you come here.”

“That is none of your business.”

“You are found here, in the place I have come and yet that is none of my business? Who sent you!”

“I sent myself!”

“Why are you here?”

“I came to see my mother.”

He turned to face her, a look on his face she could not put a name to. He held the necklace tightly in his hand, “Then it worked? I have brought Rhaenys, Aegon and Visenya into the new world. You must meet your mother then, I will send for her.”

He had made his way to the door, an excited look on his face when her laughter caught him off guard, she laughed until tears ran down her face, until it became almost difficult to breathe. She could make out the sound of people entering the room and a hand placed itself on hers and it was cold, pale and dull. The laughing stopped as quickly as it began and her eyes met dull grey eyes. Up close the girl was even plainer, she would have been pretty if she had not looked so dull and uninteresting. She had heard many things about the Northern girl, how it was her beauty that pulled the Dragon Prince from the Dornish wife, but it was all lies. The Northern girl was as common as the people she walked past every single day.

“You came from the future to see me?”

“You?”

She pulled her hand away with a sneer, it was an ugly look on her otherwise pretty face. Her Aunt had said it is what made her a Dragon, “Why would I have come all this to see you?” her father pulled the girl away from her in confusion, he looked between them for a short while he patted the Northern girl on the shoulder, smiled a pretty smile and look at her fully. 

“You said it is why you came here.”

“This bitch is not my mother. How dare you sully her name even more than you already have?”  
“But you are my daughter are you not? Who else would carry my child other than Lyanna Stark, she was chosen to carry my Visenya and bring her into this world. She must be your mother.”

“They were wrong about you.”

She sighed as she looked around her, the swords were still pointed at her. Narrowed eyes and angry looks, because she had questioned him? Or called this girl a bitch? She didn’t care, her mother was all she had wanted and even that was not possible. The Red Woman had lied to her, there would be nothing found in this place to keep her heart happy and even the sight of her dead father left little to be desired. 

“They forgot to mention you were not right in the head. I am the result of your cowardice, the last thing you left with my mother. From you and your wife. Elia Martell of Dorne.” 

“Impossible. The Martell woman is barren.”

The Northern girl’s voice sent anger through her veins, “Do not speak to me of being barren when you will give this would be King nothing but air and false promise. My mother is a Princess of Dorne and of Westeros and it would do you well to remember it.” this girl was nothing but a bitch with no bark. She was a waste of air and not worth her time, she would have had her sent away had she not known her father would be angry. 

“Elia? But, the maester said.”

“I am the last living child of Elia Martell and I came here to see her, but the Gods are unkind to the women of this world. They would not even grant a daughter a chance to see her mother living and breathing.”

Her father had sat down in the chair by her claimed bed, elbows on his knees and fingers laced together in front of his mouth, she was amused by this, she let a smile come to her mouth before looking at everyone in the room. She had enough of them, she would leave and beg the Red Woman for a second chance. 

He actually sounded sad at the thought, his eyes were looking at her now, almost looking through her, “I can see her in your face now, you have my eyes.” a small smile came to his face, he gestured for her to sit on the bed. She would have refused had it not been for the sword at her side, with a heavy heart she did as she was told. Her dress spread out around her as she did so, “She died bringing you into the world.” he looked like he wanted to touch her, but she pulled back before he could.

“No, she lived for a year after my birth. She died because of you.”

She could see her bag, it was so close. So very close. But her attention was drawn to the girl who had come to stand beside her father, as though she belonged there, as though she had the right to be there. She tried not to think about her mother’s death, it had been brutal and bloody. She must have been in so much pain, as her life ebbed away in a mix of pain and blood.

“How did she die?”

“I do not wish to speak of her death, the pain is still too near.”

She placed her hand at her breast, her heart pounded beneath her hand. Elia Martell had haunted her, her life and her death, she had birthed three children and it still was not enough for Westeros. She ignored them best she could, the stares but there was still that small part of her, buried for so long, that wanted her father to hold her like he might have held Rhaenys not too long ago. Would he answer her questions about her sister? About the son, he had yet to meet? 

“Where did you grow up? Rhaenys and Aegon, did they not come with you?”

“In the Free Cities. No.”

Would he cry if she told him? His children, dead and buried in another years time. Would he bear his soul to her, she wished for him to break down and cry, rage as she did when she found out what had happened to them. Viserys had spared no detail in telling her, he had loved Rhaenys more than anything, sometimes even more than he loved Aunt Dany, but he had cared for them all in his own way and telling her had allowed her some comfort, she knew her mother had loved her enough to not drink Moon Tea. 

“They must be worried about you?”

“How would I know? They’ve been dead for years.”

There it was, his head shot up in surprise. His eyes widened. Colour drained from his face and she had nowhere to go when his hands shot out and grabbed hers. He held them so tightly, it hurt and she wanted to cry, nobody had ever grabbed her like that before, her Aunt and Uncle had always made sure to keep her safe. Her hands would be bruised later, from him gripping her too tight and it hurt, she feared her fingers would break and there would be nothing left of them.

“For years? But how, why?”

“Because of you.”

If anything it made his grip tightened and his head fell down, “All of this was because of you, mother, Rhaenys and Aegon. Dead, for years because of you. They said you were an honourable man, but what honour is there when you left us all to die? And for what?” She looked around her, the faces pale and confused, good, let them be horrified by what they heard. Had she been anyone else, she would have told him in detail how her family had died and watched him scream and rage. But he would not, no, the would-be King was too dignified for such displays. 

“I needed another child.”

“I am the third child you had, but I am the last and the only one you have.”

“Elia was never meat to get hurt, the children.”

He was crying now, even still he was beautiful. Aegon was said to have looked just like him, would he have been this beautiful? Would Rhaenys have been? He was not a quiet crier like she had been, loud sobs left his mouth in gasps. Her head tilted when the Northern girl placed a hand on his shoulder and he shook her off, falling out of his chair and on to his knees, his head fell upon their joint hands and this was strange for her. Neither she, her aunt or uncle had ever cried like this, sought comfort in this way and it was as foreign to her as this place. Was a child supposed to see their father cry like this? Was 

“My children.”

“I must leave, the Red Woman may still be able to send me to her, I want to see my mother.”

“I will take you,” he pulled her hand close to him and she could feel his tears and wet breath against her hand, if she lowered her head it would fall against his, “Home, I will take you home.”

“Home is my Aunt and Uncle. Thank you, but I must go.”

He shook his head, “You should have been with Elia, you should have been safe!” she tried to pull her hands away, “Your name Helaena, why that name?” He had wanted a Visenya, but Uncle had named her this, he said in passing her name had been Maria.

“Because she had a tragic life, didn’t she? I do not know the name mother gave me, but Uncle has always called me Helaena.”

His head never left her hands, never pulled away from. Not even when the sun began to set and complaints rang out around the room, not when his Kingsgaurd touched his shoulder or when the Northern girl did either. He stayed there until his knees ached and the tears dried up completely. He looked up at her with sad eyes, she was not heartless and she knew why mother had loved him so much. He had pulled her in with sad looks and a beautiful face, her Aunt and Uncle had the same look about them and it was how they pulled people in all those years.

He stood suddenly and pulled her with him.

"The loss of my children is not something I am willing to let happen, you may think I do not care, but I do. More than most people would think, I care for my wife Elia, I care for my daughter and my son. I will care for you if you let me. Tell me what I must do."

"I cannot make those decisions for you. You have done this, you have to be held accountable for what you've done."

"I will take her back to the North and I will go back to my wife and children, wait for your birth."

Her heart stopped, had she changed things? Was she to go back to a different world and alone? No, he must stay here, even if it meant the deaths of the people she had loved more than anything in the world. She tried to tell him, but he was stubborn this father of hers, his mind made up and eyes clear. He held her hands for a long time, just looking at her, then he smiled and pulled her closer.

A kiss fell on her forehead and arms wrapped around her, he was tall she realised, he covered her completely. He kept her like that until the Guards came back and he released her with a smile, cupping her face, "You look like her you know, yes you have my eyes, but her face is what I see. Beautiful." then he was gone, calling out orders and she could hear the Northern girl voicing her confusion but nobody would answer her and Helaena took once last look around this room before she too left.

She woke in a world much changed from the one she had left, her Aunt hovering over her with concern with another young woman beside her, purple eyes, dark skin and black hair. There was much going on in the room and she sat up to look around, it was only the voice calling her name that brought her back, "Helaena?" a Dornish voice, confusion in her tone but in her soul, she knew this was her mother's voice and then a large hand on her shoulder and her father's face looking at her with a smile, older than the last she had seen of him. He looked happy, standing with his wife, who was sitting beside her father's look-alike, her brother Aegon. 

He bent down to hug her, "Welcome back." he released her to her mother, Aunt and Sister. Who hovered and fussed in a way she had never experienced. It was nice, to be held like this and know it was because they cared.


	2. Childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote a second chapter ages ago, but like my computer deleted it and I'm so happy for me *fake smile*
> 
> So here's a different version of what I wrote for the first version and I hope you like it.
> 
> I was also thinking of doing a different version of the first chapter? Like what if Helaena wasn't able to go home? What would happen? Or what about if she had been even worse towards Lyanna?
> 
> Let me know?
> 
> <3
> 
> Also things are very different from canon like you'll see but I just wanted to mention it in case someone wasn't happy with how things turn out.
> 
> I also made this little thing, you have Rhaenys, Helaena and Aegon in that order.  
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/b5c2d276eb9774081f6eb8544dbb67cd/763107f07e19b5f7-94/s540x810/72ffb8bc7c295c352a0cf944beb54ca91f6be88c.jpg

Helaena is only young when she finds out that the children she thought were her siblings were not, they were her Uncle and Aunt. It had been confusing in the beginning, but she felt the same about them either way and told them it didn’t matter because they all loved one another regardless. She is still young when her Uncle tells her of her parents, a Father that loved stories and music over his wife and children, a mother that smiled like the sun and loved more than she received, of true siblings that would never grow to see the world as she had. She learned of war, people dying and the role her father had played in it. She also learned of the name her mother had gifted her, Maria she had been called but her Uncle had renamed her.

She swore to all the Gods, she would never love her Father.

She swore to the same Gods to always love and cherish her Mother.

They are all young in the hot sun that beats down on them as they move from town to town, young as they go without food for days and young when Uncle had to see her Grandmother’s crown. It was the last time she saw any true smile from him and her heart broke for her Uncle and his smile that made her feel safe and secure. She prayed for him and hoped the Gods would grant him peace. She was not sure if the Gods would listen to a girl like her, that had no home but the name of a great House and she keeps thoughts prayers to herself, hidden away in the night.   


They make their home in a large house with a kind man that gives them presents and feeds them, her Uncle is happier now than he had been in a long time and for that, she makes sure the Kind Man gets a pretty smile and a song whenever her Uncle’s face breaks out into a bright sun-like smile. She watches her Aunt play as a child should and feels as though it is how she should be too, but there is something inside of her that yearns for the company of others that are not young like they are. She yearns for more and feels there is something wrong inside of her.

She speaks with the Kind Man and he teaches her games, her letters and numbers. He tells her that there is nothing more frightening than a woman grown who knows things only men should know, but he sees something in her that yearns for these things and so he teaches her, he sees in her the Princess of Dorne that he had only caught a glimpse of so many years ago. Her Uncle was pleased when she offered to read to him, passing her books and listening with a small smile. Her Aunt likes stories of Princes and Princesses, Dragons and Knights and so that is what Helaena reads to her until her Aunt is asleep and drifting away with pretty dreams.

Sometimes she feels sad. A sadness she fears will never go away and she prays to the Gods to make her happy, but they do not answer and she fears they have forsaken her. 

She is too young to feel this way, but it does not stop her from feeling it. 

One day she is reading to her Uncle when he tells her something strange, he speaks of her Father. He sounds neither happy nor unhappy as he speaks, only a cold detachment from the brother she knows he had looked up to and thought so highly of.    
  
“Some days Helaena, I watch you and see so much of him in you.”

She wishes people would speak of her mother. What she had been like, how she had looked and how she had smiled. What did she smell like, what were her favourite colours and would she have been proud of her daughter? The only living child that she had left in the world? Would Elia Martell, Princess of Dorne, have loved her? Would her siblings have been kind and grown to love her, or would they only see as the last thing their Father left behind

She isn’t sure she truly wishes to know.

Until her Uncle mentions her Father once again and the Northern woman he had abandoned her Mother for. It is the only time her Uncle lets her see him angry, lets her know the rage he carries inside of him for the family he had lost. He hated his brother, he hated the Northern girl more, he refused to speak her name more than once.

“My brother was a coward. Sister Elia loved him more than anything in the world, I saw it and I felt it and yet as he wooed his whore and whisked her away, his children were suffering and his wife was heartbroken. Do you think he thought of her Helaena? No, he only thought of his stories and Dragons.”

He does not speak to her for a while after this, but there is only one thing she takes away from it. Her heart will never see Rhaegar Targaryen as her Father, he is a man that left his family to ruin and death. A man that protected his mistress more dutifully than his wife and what was there to show for it? Nothing but pain.

It is only shaken when a man appears one day, claiming to have known her Father. Uncle had recognised him but had Helaena hidden away from him, locked in her rooms until he knew that the man could be trusted. He had not been sent to kill them for the Usurper that had stolen their family’s throne. It is many days before he allows her out of her room and she is happy to see the outside, but not the man that looks at her as though he has seen a ghost and speaks to Uncle about her as though she is not there.   
  
“Who is this girl?”

Her Uncle smirks at the confusion, beckoning Helaena closers, “This is my niece, you have not met her yet. She is my brother's daughter, born after he left.” he pats her hair and holds her close, as though he is afraid she would be stolen away.

“Your brother had only one daughter, she died alongside her Mother and brother in the Red Keep. I also know that Rhaenys had dark hair, not dark silver. Tell me, Prince Viserys, who is she truly?”   
  
“My brother put a babe in his wife before he abandoned her for a Northern whore. This is the child my Good-Sister bore before she was killed. Your Prince Rhaegar’s only living child.”

He left soon after, face white and sweat on his brow. A smile stays on Uncle’s face for a while, until the man comes back to introduce himself to her personally, he kneels in front of her as he speaks.   
  
“Princess, I am Jon Connington. I served by your father’s side and my wish is to serve by yours.”

She does not speak for a while, every time she thinks of her Father her heart grows cold, she can bear no love for that man, but this man seemed so kind and hopefully as his eyes looked up at her. She thinks they are the eyes of a Father, but she had never had one and believes it is only wishful thinking. She nods to him and he stands, he is very tall and handsome in his own ways. 

“You may call me Helaena.”

They spend many days together, sometimes just sitting together or reading. Sometimes they walk through the Markets together and the yearning she has almost gone away, but deep down inside of her it is still there. Calling to her. She wants to talk about it, but there are parts of her that are ashamed by it, what right does she have to yearn for something?

“Sevens, when I look at you Princess, I can see your father looking back at me.”

“What was my mother like?”

“Your mother? Well, Princess Elia was a kind and gracious woman. She was smart and funny, she loved your brother and sister very much.”   
  
“What about him? Did she love him?”   
  
“Your father? I believe she did, I could see it when she looked at him-”

“But he didn’t love her did he, Ser Jon?”

“Princess-”   
  
“Otherwise why would he have left such a kind and gracious woman that had birthed him, two children? That loved him?”

“I cannot tell you what was in your father's heart, he was fond of her.”

She does not speak to him for a long time after this, he had only told her the truth and she was right in not loving her Father, he was selfish and she wished that her father had been someone else. If her Father had loved another, why could her Mother not have loved another, and birthed her in secret? She had asked her Uncle this and he had laughed, twisting her hair around his finger, “You have his eyes, I am sorry Little Sun, but you are his daughter.” 

She knows it in her heart that it's true, but this does not stop the deep-seated anger or hurt inside of her heart when she hears it again. She knows her parents are Rhaegar and Elia, she knows her sister was Rhaenys and her brother was Aegon. She knows her father abandoned them for some Northern girl and ran away with her to Elia Martell's homeland, her father had taken his mistress and hidden her away in his wife's homeland. She had heard from Ser Jon that her father was a kind man and loved by many, but it does not stop her from questioning what type of man would do what he had done?  
  
Ser Jon has no answer for her.

As she grows older the world only seems to get worse.   
  
The Kind man died and they were kicked out of his home, everything they owned stolen from them. But Ser Jon stays with them, keeping them safe until they find a new home in a Magister, who she does not fully trust. But she uses her kind smile and her intelligence to keep him interested in helping them.  
  
Her Aunt marries a Dothraki War-Lord. Who does not look kind or loving to her Aunt, who is scared of him? She speaks with her Uncle and begs him not to marry her Aunt off and he only pulls her into a hug and tells she her is lucky he had not gotten rid of her. It is the first time she is scared of her Uncle, it is also the last time. He regrets what he says and regrets the marriage arranged for his sister. He cries with her one night, after the marriage as they travelled with the people her Aunt had married into and for the first time it is her comforting someone and she does not really mind. They have been joined by another man, a Northern one named Jorah Mormont. She does not like him, the way he looks at her Aunt and watches her as they travel, her Uncle feels the same but there is no reason to send him away. Uncle kept the man away from her, let him fill her Aunt's head with stories and dreams, but not Helaena. 

She was there when her Aunt found out that she was with child and she was happy for her Aunt, truly she was. But the feeling in her own stomach told her that this newfound happiness would diminish as quickly as it had come and none of them would be the same afterwards. Even Uncle had seemed happy to hear the news and praised his sister. She spent many hours with her Aunt thinking of names, what the child could be called if a girl or a boy. Some of that yearning Helaena had felt was buried under the love she felt for the child, but this didn't mean it hadn't gone away. The yearning grew the more that they moved around, Ser Jon had noticed the look in her eyes once and she had been washed in shame.  
  
"Maybe it is your mother's Homeland calling its daughter home?"

She knew he meant it to cheer her up and it did, but the thought of going there, where her mother had grown up was an urge so strong it shocked her. But she would not leave her Aunt or Uncle, they needed her as much as she needed them. She could ignore the yearning if it meant she could stay with them forever, though Uncle had told her they would both be married one day, like her Aunt and they would have no time for one another. They spent more time together while travelling than they had in a long time, they made time for one another and Helaena smiled whenever she saw her Aunt's stomach grow. The child would be here soon they told her, they had to travel somewhere for a ceremony or something for the child, then they would know if it was a boy or a girl, but Aunt had told her one night while they lay next to one another that in her heart she knew it was a boy. A strong son that would look like a mix of her and Drogo, tanned skin and purple eyes.   
  
Helaena hadn't been there for the ceremony, but her Aunt had come back with blood on her face and a triumphant look in her eyes, it was not something she had seen in her Aunt's eyes before, she did not dislike it. Her Aunt was becoming someone different now, but it was not a change that was bad, it was good and she could sense the strength inside of her and the child would have the same look in his eyes when he grew. Helaena was scared that her Uncle would not be happy with the change, he would see it as something it was not, a rebellion against him but he had surprised her, he had smiled and kissed her Aunt on her cheek, telling her that now she was a true Dragon. Helaena wasn't sure what made a member of their House a true Dragon, but Ser Jon had said that her father was the last Dragon and maybe it was a way to remember his fallen brother. She didn't care as long as there was no mention of her father again.   
  
It was a few months later when her Aunt had the baby, a beautiful dark-haired boy with eyes bright like purple stars. It was the first time she spoke to her Aunt's husband and decided that she did like him, he looked at her Aunt as though she had all the answers in the world for him and it was enough for Helaena to smile at him and congratulate him. Her cousin was a quiet child, only crying when he was hungry and nothing else. Uncle said he was just like her and Aunt when they were babies, they rarely cried and it was almost a relief to not be woken up from the screaming of a child. Her Aunt was a good mother, caring and watchful. Her Uncle was a good Uncle, doting and loving and her? She felt like it was a scene she didn't belong in, no longer did she see herself with her Aunt or Uncle and slowly she pulled away from them. Her heart was calling for something else and she would not find it here, surrounded by people she knew and people she cared about. Her heart was almost screaming at her to go, go and find whatever it was that the yearning was calling for and it would be difficult to say goodbye and leave.  
  
But she had too.  
  
She didn't belong here anymore.  
  
Not with her Aunt's beautiful maternal smile or her Uncle's doting smiles.  
  
She belonged in a different world and it was like a stab to her heart when she realised.  
  
But she would not be leaving for a long time, because she had been right about the Northern man. He had not been there to swear his allegiance to her Uncle, he was not there to tutor her Aunt on the home they did not know. He was spying on them, had been for months now and she had not held herself back when she found out, throwing her hands out and screaming at him. His letter in hand, she had yelled at him and questioned him, but he refused to answer her and only asked for her Aunt. She had laughed in his face and slapped him, had she not caught him, would they have found out? Would they still be looking at this man as an ally and someone they could put their trust in?   
  
Yes.  
  
They would have.  
  
Her Aunt's guards had come at the sound of her yelling to find them and had questioned her. She had told them to tell her Aunt they had a traitor amongst them and to have him dragged to the Khal and his wife. They had done so with little question, never having seen the somewhat docile girl make any such scene and she watched it all happen, the look of betrayal on her Aunt's face when he told them the truth, he had been a spy for Robert Baratheon and he had been the one to circulate the news of her pregnancy. She questioned herself, had she done the right thing by doing this? Her Uncle had stood by her side, never once looking at her as the Khal brought his justice upon the Northern man, but her Aunt had begged for his life and he would be exiled from them, sent away to fend for himself so very far from any civilisation. 

The guilt weighed her down.  
  
If she had just left, would they have found out after he had done something?  
  
Would her family have been killed by assassins she now knew to have been sent after them?

Would she have survived solely because she had abandoned the only family she knew in the world?

Helaena could not leave now, not now she knew everything she did, with her existence now known in the world. Her Uncle would not let her leave now, he would want to keep them all close and Ser Jon would not allow her to go. She should be angry about it, but the look in her Aunt's eyes when she told them all about her thoughts of leaving had put a stop to it all. She was more of a sister to her Aunt than she was a niece, so close in age and growing up so close. It was the second time her Uncle mentioned how alike she was to her father, how he had up and left when her brother was only a year old and disappeared with another woman. He asked her if there was someone she was running away with and she had to tell them about this feeling inside of her. A yearning that had come one day and never left.  
  
He mentioned her mother had told him something similar. 

But she didn't leave and it would be a few more years until she finally found out that she was yearning for her mother, the one she had never had the chance to meet and it was only by chance that they met the Red Woman and she had whispered promises in her years of a mother that would love to see her child, she could send her back and it could happen. She had whispered of a necklace that had belonged to her Grandmother, it had been given to her Aunt and how it was the one thing needed to let people know who she was, but she had refused to take it from her Aunt. A beautiful necklace with dragons on it, it sat around her Aunt's throat and it suited her. A true Targaryen Princess she had told her with a smile. Her Aunt had not been truly the same after the death of her husband, it had been a shock to everyone when he had passed away. An infected wound taking the life of someone so strong had shocked even her Uncle and as quickly as he had gained his army, it had been lost. Her cousin had stayed with them, while her Aunt's Khalassar had left, some had stayed but not many. Not enough. 

Until her Aunt had given it to her, with a smile and a mention of how it would suit her.

The Red Woman had smiled a red-tinged smile at her before handing her a potion, drink only half for the journey there and the rest for the journey back. Then a wicked smile crossed her face as she leant closer to Helaena, "If you wish to come back." then she had left through the same door she had come and Helaena had not seen her again, the potion sat in her room for months. It played on her mind, should she, shouldn't she but there was just something inside of her that told her it was not going to go the way that she planned. What if she couldn't come back? What would she do? Hide from the world until old age took her? It continued to play until her Uncle noticed, then her Aunt noticed and finally Ser Jon. They had met the Red Woman too, they hadn't liked her too much and Helaena couldn't agree more. She was a terrifying woman, her eyes had been so dark and she was dressed head to toe in red. But not a beautiful red colour that she enjoyed, it looked more like dried blood that had been in the sun for too long.   
  
It was the middle of the night when she took the potion out of the drawer, it glimmered in the moonlight.   
  
She left a note, just in case. She didn't want them to think she had finally just left and wasn't coming back. She was going to come back.

The potion was thick, slimy and made her gag in disgust. Her a split second the had a passing thought that it was actually poison. Had she willingly drank poison? But there was a sharp pain and then nothing. She doesn't remember falling down or hitting the floor. But she does feel the cold stone beneath her when she wakes up, in a circular room that doesn't look familiar. There is a warmth in the air that is familiar, but stiffness in the air that wasn't familiar and she was frightened. She wondered where she had ended up, was she in Dragonstone or the Red Keep? No, it was too warm for Dragonstone, but was it too warm for the Red Keep too?   
  
It took her looking out of the window and seeing nothing but miles of sand that she realised she had not ended up where she wanted to.


	3. Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a reimagined version of Chap1! 
> 
> I hope you like it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've done a layout thing for Helaena!  
> I hope you like it!  
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/8d5fb2e6c8619e81e600cf82bf5258ad/e169ba3dc2f0c27d-5e/s1280x1920/b3ab061b899d152002c57dcf02ca3a77c5a304cd.jpg  
> I spent a lot of time trying to find the perfect 'face' and she's beautiul so *shrug*

She had never thought this would be where she found herself, hands bound tightly to the arms of a wooden chair, hair dishevelled and heart pounding. It was not the first time she had felt fear, but it was the first time she truly thought her life would be taken from her. Her wrists were sore, she feared there would be marks left permanently from how tight the guards had tied them, though one guard had looked shocked at her appearance. 

They had left her here and had been gone for hours. Probably waiting for their Leader to come or something, her bag had been thrown across the circular room, thankfully the contents had not been spilt and the leftover potion should still be in there, unbroken. The sound of approaching footsteps caused her head to shoot up, staring straight at the door, the voices of those stood outside were muffled, but she recognised the Dornish Guard’s voice. Her throat was hurting, one Guard had not been so kind to the strange-looking woman sitting in the tower, she wondered if there were finger-sized bruises on her throat from how hard he had grabbed at her? She let her head fall forward as the door opened, only one person entered the room, to the anger of the others outside of the room, whispers of  _ ‘My Prince’ _ and then the door had closed.

The voice of a man who spoke so beautifully broke through her thoughts, “Who are you and how did you find this place?” it was the kind of voice one would fall asleep to, a comfortable and deep one. He must be a singer of some sort, though why a singer would be here of all places astounded her, he came closer at her silence and he stood too close to her. Before anything else could be said, he was crouching in front of her and reaching for her head, but she raised her own head before he could touch her and doing so brought her face to face with someone she had only ever heard stories of. 

Purple met purple and shock shone in the eyes of both. Why, why why why! Why did it have to be this man! Were the Gods mocking her for hoping and dreaming? Was the Red Woman mocking her, the world had never been fair to her, but even now it seemed not even the Gods were on her side?   


She knew from talking to others that she could have been her mother's clone. Only two differences, her hair was silver and her eyes purple, while her mother had brown hair and brown eyes. Her dress was dirty now, it was a shame it had been her favourite commissioned by her Uncle and had told her she looked so beautiful in yellow. The man, this one right in front of her, had his hands hovering over her own, they might have even been shaking and she held in a smile. Good, let him shake in surprise as he stares at the face of his abandoned wife.    
  
“You, your face.”

“Untie me and I will be on my way.”

The sound of her voice almost seemed to force him back, she knew her accent was not the same as his, having never been raised in the same land. Her accent was the same she shared with her Aunt and Uncle, a mixture of the Free Cities and deep, Aunt had always said she sounded alluring when she spoke. Her hands were hurting now as she tried to move them, but there was only so much movement one could make when tied down. His face was even paler if that was possible as his mouth slackened as he tried to speak, but her hands caught his attention. Tied so tightly, they were turning a different colour.

“I will untie you, but you must tell me who you are.”

“My name is Helaena.”

He pulled a dagger out, staring at her and she prepared herself. Uncle had never told her his Brother was cruel or anything like that, but he had been a child himself, how would he know if his Brother did not treat people in a cruel manner and he had always told her to be ready for something terrible to happen, her face was her most valuable asset and it would not take much effort on his part to scar her or even kill her. She wore the face of the woman he had abandoned and left for dead, only the Gods would know what he was thinking. 

“Ah, a family name?”

“One might say that.”

The dagger didn’t move, neither coming closer to her or moving away. Maybe he was toying with her? Though Uncle had never mentioned his brother having a teasing nature and neither had Ser Jon and they had spent many years with one another. She turned her head to look around the room, she had only a few things with her and the time she had been in the room, they had spread around as though she owned the room. Her Aunt and Uncle would have been shocked by the mess, never had she ever made such a mess in her life an a part of her felt guilty and almost asked if he wanted her to clean up before they killed her. 

“You have lovely eyes, your face looks very similar to someone I care about.”

Why was he asking her so many questions? Why couldn't he just kill her and get it over with, she did not like the way he looked at her, soft eyes and a soft smile. Maybe it was because he could see the wife he had left behind in her face or perhaps it was something he did to people so they would be more surprised by the dagger being shoved into their neck? His hand was on her face suddenly, there was nothing she could do as he leaned in closer and his nose touched hers, he was insane.

“But your eyes. I see my own looking back at me. Tell me who you are and why you are here.”

“I wanted to see my mother.”

“I would remember if my own Mother had a daughter your age. Or even a daughter of my own.”

“You have a daughter though, don’t you? Maybe you forget her because she’s part Dornish? I’ve heard rumours of your hatred for your wife and children, why else would you have left them alone?”

His smile was not so bright now, almost brittle. How interesting, who would have thought the mention of his family would cause this kind of reaction, would the mention of his son cause the same? He had been there for Aegon’s birth and first few months of life, maybe he had already forgotten about them? She smiled at him in return, her Uncle had taught her well.    
  
“I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”

“You seem to know a lot about me, but I still know nothing of you.”

“As I mentioned, my name is Helaena and I seem to have come to the wrong place.”

“Wrong place?”

“I was meant to come back and see my mother, but somehow. I’ve ended up here, with you and I must say, I’m not overly happy.”

“Does my appearance cause you distress? This is the first time a woman has ever looked at me the way you have, as though the mere thought and appearance of me, disgusts you.”

“What would you say, if I told you that we were closer than you think?”   
  
“Who am I to you?”

He still had not cut her free, would he when she told him? She was hurting now, more than she had been before, there would be scared if they stayed attached to her. She wanted to reach up and grasp him by his hair, smash his face into the floor and scream at him, how dare he think he could leave her tied up like this? So much for the chivalrous Prince, she had heard so much about.    
  
“I travelled back, with help. I was supposed to wake up in Westeros, the Red Keep and meet my mother. She’s supposed to be there now I think, having been called back by your Father.”   
  
“You have not answered my question.”

“Is it not obvious Prince Rhaegar? I am your daughter.”

“Rhaenys? No, your eyes are different. Her’s are so beautiful, like a dark Amethyst shining in the ocean, but yours, you have my own eyes.”

“I am not Rhaenys, I am your second daughter.”

He smiled at her, nothing like the smile her Uncle would give her, nor her Aunt. It was different, but when he turned around and called out a woman’s name, she knew what he thought and it almost made her laugh. Did this man truly believe that the woman standing outside was her mother? Never in her life had she been so insulted, how dare this man call for that woman, had he not told her she looked familiar? Did she not have her mother’s features? An insult and she was furious.    


He smiled brightly when the woman came in and Helaena could only say, she was disappointed. From the stories she had heard, she had expected a beautiful woman who could draw the eye of any man. But the woman was nothing but a boring dark-haired woman, common, with nothing interesting about her, skin too pale and face a tad too long and her mouth was a little too large for her face. Her eyes were a boring and dull shade of grey, and Helaena had to push her amusement to the back of her mind, it would not be a good thing if she insulted the Prince’s whore.

“You called for me?”

Gods, even her voice was boring. Had the woman her Father ran off with been beautiful or bright, then maybe she could have understood, but there was nothing about this woman that stood out. She spoke as though everything was a chore, this was a woman that had never suffered or faced hardship, a pampered daughter of a Lord in the North. How dull. How utterly boring, if this was the kind of woman her father liked, then more fool him.   


“Lyanna, my Love, our daughter has come to us.”

The woman, Lyanna’s eyes shot to look at her and took everything in Helaena not to pull back in disgust. She looked like a woman that had gotten everything she ever wanted and it was only the sudden rush to release her that stopped her from spitting at them. She rubbed her wrists once she was free, trembling in disgust as the woman wrapped an arm about her shoulders.   
  
“Did I not tell you Rhaegar, I would give you Visenya.”

He smiled at her statement, eyes falling to the youngest woman in front of him. She was a beautiful girl, her hair a dark silver and skin a dark shade of brown. He was not stupid, there was nothing indicating that this girl was Lyanna or his daughter, only one woman came to mind when he saw this girl, a vision came into his head as he closed his eyes. Elia was standing there, a bright smile on her lips as she held Aegon in her arms and Rhaenys clung to him and he was so happy, he had never felt happiness like it. Until they were told she could no longer carry children, any more and it would surely kill her and he had thought back to the Stark woman, the promises she had made about more children and how powerful they would be. He tried not to think of what she looked like now, devastated and angry at him, her heartbroken as he left as though she meant nothing to him. This girl, she could only be Elia’s child, had she moved on and had more children, though they had been told it was impossible. Who had fathered such a beautiful child with his wife?

“You are not named Visenya?”

“My Uncle named me Helaena, my mother gave me a different one.”

Lyanna smiled as she brushed the girl's hair back, oblivious to the tremble and anger in her eyes. A Northern name probably, she had always gotten what she wanted and now was no different, she had done what Rhaegar’s Dornish wife could not give him a second daughter to complete the prophecy. She was so happy, not even hiding her smile as she thought of the Dornish woman, barren and alone as the children taken from her and how powerful the three of them would be in the future. She would treat the Half-Breeds as her own, it was the least she could do and one day, when it was all done and over, it would be her children on the Throne, her Wolves and Dragons.   
  
“Maria.”

“I’m sorry?”

“My mother named me Maria.”

Lyanna pulled back, watching the girl closely now and noticed the smirk on her lips, a strange look in her eyes as she looked at the couple. She pushed herself out of the chair she had been restrained in and brushed her hands across her dress, it could be washed she hoped. Such a beautiful dress and she pulled her hair atop her head, her Aunt and Uncle had hated when she did that, they told her it made her look unkept and un-ladylike! She had always liked it though, it gave both of them a reason to brush her hair and she truly loved having her hair brushed.    
  
“You were stupid to think you were my mother. How dare you. How dare you look at me with such a smug or disgusting look in your eyes Lyanna of House Stark, the Dragon’s whore. How dare you sit there and think someone of such low morals could ever bring a child into this world. No, you are not my mother, you are nobody’s mother.”

“Helaena.”

“And you,” her eyes turned to her father, “I am the daughter of Elia Martell, Princess of Dorne! A child of prophecy, a child that quickened in the womb as her father abandoned her, a child that had never known the love of her mother nor her siblings. Raised in the Free Cities away from her home because of the stupidity of her Father.”

“You can’t speak to us like that! Know your place!”

“Know my place? Do not speak to me about knowing my place when you do not know yours! I may be a Princess without a family or a home, but I am of higher status than you and you should be on your knees like the dog you are.”

Her father said nothing, as though it was going through one ear and out the other, he only had eyes for her as she raged at Lyanna, yes, now he could see it. She had Elia’s anger in her veins, as all Dornish women did and it did nothing to stop his heart from pining for his wife, he missed her. He missed her more as he watched his daughter,  _ his daughter.  _ Another daughter, another child and he had missed so much, were Rhaenys and Aegon like this? Did they have more fierce than fire? A raging inferno that seemed to burn so deep, that not even the purest of water could put it out. Yes, he could see his little Dragon being like her younger sister, they must make a fierce team and one only an invalid would dare confront, his son would be the peacemaker, he would be the balm that calmed his sisters. 

  
“How dare you! Rhaegar, will you let this thing, speak to me like that?”

“Ha! You seem to have a loose tongue, but what was I expecting from a woman with loose morals, begging her lover to come to her defence because she’s nothing!”

“Both of you!”   
  
He raised his voice, sending Lyanna in a childish state as she pouted and it did nothing to Helaena, she only curled her lip and turned away. How Elia managed with a daughter like this he wasn’t sure, but he commended her for it. Brave, he smiled at her, she was brave and wild, Oberyn came to mind when he saw her glare.   
  
“Helaena, tell me of Rhaenys and Aegon, how are they? What of the child Lyanna and I will have?”

“Were you not listening to me? Lyanna Stark will give you no children, her womb is as barren as the land we are currently in. A womb that had nothing but cobwebs and dust gathering. As for my siblings? How should I know, they have been dead for a long time, I am the only child left of Rhaegar Targaryen's line.”

Dead? This was the only thought racing through Rhaegar’s head, his children, gone from this world for a long time, how many years was a long time? How could this be when his daughter still looked young, how and why. No, she must be mistaken, Elia would never allow her only child to come back if she had already lost two children. What had happened to his daughter that would make her speak with no feeling in her voice when she spoke of her older siblings as though they were nothing but stardust now and no longer mattered. He cared nothing for her remarks about Lyanna, not now, not when he was filled with thoughts of his deceased children, no children mattered if they were not there. 

“How dare you, I am the North’s daughter, what you have said is a grave insult to me!”

“Do not speak to me as though we are on the same level Lady Stark, you are a Lady and I am a Princess, do not speak to me so casually.”

She ignored the man kneeling on the floor, the young woman spitting words that went over her head and thought to herself that if she had not been so down, then maybe she would have been enjoying tea with her mother and seeing her siblings. Instead, she was standing in an oval room, with the two people that had caused such pain in her life, they alone were the reason her mother had been killed, her siblings slaughtered like animals and the reason she had grown into the woman she was now. Would she have been a different woman, if her father had never left and her mother had been happy? Would Aegon be sitting on the Iron Throne and Westeros prospering under his rule as she and Rhaenys stood beside him?   
  
“Elia would never have let you come back, why did she?”

Helaena turned to her father, it was a strange question and one she hadn’t expected him to ask. His head was hanging down, long silver head falling over broad shoulders and it was not the first time that she thought her father was handsome, no wonder her mother had fallen so hard for him. He was beautiful and sad, would he look like his world had been crushed when she told him how they all died? Would the light drain from his eyes as he found out that everything he had done, had led to the deaths of his family?    
  
“My mother is dead, she had no say in what I do or don’t do.”

Neither could ignore the smile growing on Lyanna’s face and she turned in happiness to Rhaegar with words dying on her lips when she saw his face. It was pale, even more so than usual and his eyes were downcast. But even he looked sick at the glee on the Northern woman’s face and shot her a glare, that had Helaena been younger. It would have stopped her in her tracks. 

“How long?”

“Hmmm, it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe in less than a year.”

Less than a year? Brining this girl into the world must have killed her, as everyone had told them it would and still, she continued her pregnancy and she died. The one thing he had been trying to stop and there was nothing he could do, he had done this and there had been a small part of him that had hoped for a child to quicken in her womb, but it was dashed with the thoughts of her dying, covered in blood and leaving him alone. Alone to face the horrors that had yet to come, his children left motherless because of his selfishness.

“Bringing you into this world must have been a difficult decision, dying for you.”

“Elia Martell was destined to die the very moment she met you, she probably felt it deep in her bones and still she fell so deeply in love with you that she ignored it. It was not my birth Rhaegar Targaryen that killed a Princess of Dorne, it was you and this war that killed her. The sun had never shone on me as it was supposed to because you took her from me.”

“If you didn’t kill her, then who did?”

Lyanna Stark was probably not known for her tact, for she said things as bluntly as a cold breeze, she was as crud as she was ugly and it was not just her looks that made her ugly, everything from her mouth to her voice to her thinking was ugly and Helaena had never felt more disappointed. When Uncle had told her of this other woman, she expected more and it was such a horrible thing, being let down.

“You killed her. You and this war, shall I bore you with the gory details? How she cried out for her husband, for anyone to come and they didn’t come, how she was raped and cut in half with a sword? How her son was ripped from her arms and his skull crushed against the wall and how little Rhaenys hid under her father’s bed and prayed for him to come and save them. How awful it must have been when those men dragged out from under the bed and stabbed her to death.”

He felt sick, how could this have happened? He had known, deep inside that Elia would die someday, be it from illness or old age, never from murder. His delicate, beautiful wife was too kind for this world and still, he had broken one of the many promises he had made to her, leaving her defenceless and to die alone in the cruel arms of the Red Keep. The little Prince that had looked so much like him that it brought tears to his eyes when Elia had presented him. How this woman in front of him had to grow up knowing he had destroyed her family and he hadn’t seen her grow in her mother’s womb, had not seen Elia grow with a child for the third time. His little Dragons, gone from the world and only remembered for the things their father had done, terrible things in the quest for another child. Had he known his last night with Elia would lead to Helaena, he would never have listened to Lyanna and her promises. He would have stayed by her side, would have watched her belly grow heavy with a child and he would have held Helaena in his arms and kissed her head.

“It doesn’t matter! I’m going to marry Rhaegar and give him more children, you and your bastard siblings don’t matter! Elia Martell will disappear back to her wasteland with her tail between her legs like the bitch she is.”

Rhaegar tried to push the words from his head, he had never agreed to marry her. Only another child, Elia was his wife and his children his heirs, little Aegon would make a fine king with his sisters by his side. Lyanna would go back North and marry Robert Baratheon, bear his children and there would be nothing to speak about. Elia was never supposed to die, not so brutally and his children,  _ his children,  _ it broke his heart. The thought of them being so scared, Rhaenys calling out for him and realising he wasn’t going to come. Elia’s eyes wide with fear as she was, no he couldn’t think of it. The thought of someone doing that to his wife was enough for him to be sick and his eyes welled with tears and he could feel his voice fighting to be heard. It fought and fought until he could do nothing but cry out, he cried and screamed like a wild animal. He screamed at Lyanna to leave his sight and only threw her hands off of him when she touched him, she scurried from the room like a frightened child, nothing like the woman she tried to be. 

It was the smell of lilacs that filled his nose when warm arms wrapped around him, what type of father was he, crying like a child as his daughter comforted him. His own arm wrapped around her as he cried, cried for the things that had not happened yet, cried for his family that was so small, but it was his and his alone. He had ruined it by leaving for the woman that had been so like the prophecy promised, so brave and loud. He had not wanted her the way he wanted Elia, but Lyanna had been the means to an end and in doing so, he had ended the only lives that truly mattered to him. 

When she was young, she had promised to herself that any love she had for her father was gone, there was nothing in her heart that called out for her father in the way that it did for her mother. Maybe it was a cruel thing but never had she felt guilty for it and even now, there was no guilt in her heart after she broke the heart of the man sitting in her arms. In her mind, it was what he deserved, he should not be allowed to live on thinking his actions had not caused great harm. Her Uncle would have been a different man, had he been raised by a loving family and her Aunt would never have a sad smile on her face when her parents were mentioned. 

It was the children that paid the price for the crimes of their families.

Helaena.

Viserys.

Daenerys.

It was exile and pain they had endured because of this man and his lover, would her life have been any kinder if she had been raised by her mother or even by her father? The Uncle’s she had heard about in stories residing in Dorne? But if she had been, she would not be the woman she was now, hardship had made them all kinder and it was a blessing that she even had her Uncle and Aunt.   
  
“ _ I have made a terrible mistake _ .”

It was too late now though, wasn’t it? He had already run off with the daughter of House Stark, had already made a promise of giving her a child when she had come to him, near tears and begged for him to end her marriage to Robert. She had whispered promises in his ear when he was at his lowest, promises of children and happiness and there hadn’t been a time where he had thought of his wife and two children at home. He had not thought of Elia being anything other than his Queen, he had no plans to take another wife when he already had such an understanding and kind one. Anything less than being Queen was not good enough for the daughter of House Stark, she had rejected anything and everything else, but he would not give up his first wife and he had seen the anger in her eyes. 

“It is too late for regrets, you have already planted the seeds and from those seeds comes nothing but pain and death.”

He tightened his arms around her, unwilling to let her go. He looked up at her, she was so much like her mother it was almost unnerving like he was seeing Elia for the first time at the meeting with their mothers and oh how beautiful she had been. None of the pain lingering in her eyes, none of the harassment or words spoken in anger. He would have done anything to bring that Elia back, he had loved her from the first moment he saw her and he loved her still, he loved her enough to stop this in its tracks. To see his children grow and flourish in the world, watch Aegon sit on the Iron Throne with Rhaenys and Helaena beside him. 

That was the future that he wanted, but he was not sure it would be the one he would see, even if he took the girl back now. What would stop her from making claims of kidnapping, rape and other atrocities? Nothing, his word alone would not stop the fallout, not with her reeling from her failed spiriting away from the Baratheon Lord. It was surely too late now, could he return home to face the consequences of his actions? Would Elia welcome him home with a smile and open arms, would the children remember him? Aegon would not, but Rhaenys would know his face, wouldn't she? What had Helaena said, about Lyanna's womb? Would she truly bare him no children, or was it the anger of a daughter left to fend for herself in the world? No, she had no reason to lie, she seemed the type of woman to rub those types of situations in people's faces, she would have taken great joy in telling them that the child they would have had, was dead.  


  
"Do you truly believe they will welcome you back? After everything, you have done? Everything that's going to happen?"  


"They must."

"You are not the same man you were before, not now you know. Do you believe that my mother would welcome you back after everything you have done? That you could waltz back in and all your sins would be forgotten?"

"I love her, I love Elia more than anything in this world. Even more than my children, I would not leave her to die like that, she should die by my side, with hair grey with old age and grandchildren to spoil. I should be there when you are born, watch you come into this world as I watched Rhaenys and Aegon."

This man truly was something else. Had she not been his daughter, she would have laughed and told him where he could go, but he had begun to burrow himself into her heart. She pulled back, hard as it was with how tight he held on to her and she stood as tall as she could considering her father towered over her. He touched her throat gently, a sad look in his eyes before he sighed and looked away. Lyanna would not accept this as a reason to go back, nothing would change her mind and it had been the thing he liked about her, she was passionate. But he did not love her more than the girl stood in front of him, a third child and so very much a perfect mix of both him and Elia.  
  
"I am going back."

"Back to King's Landing?"  
  
"No, first I will bring Lyanna North and then I will go to Dragonstone."  
  
What in the world was he thinking? That he could just walk into Winterfell with the daughter of Lord Stark and everything would be okay? Maybe it would be okay, but there was no telling what would happen after, what would stop the Stark daughter from making different stories up about what had happened here, now that she had seen the daughter that Elia Martell was pregnant with? He was a handsome man, it was true, but he was not a very smart man. She obviously had inherited her intelligence from her mother. She watched as he ran his hands through his hair, face still in thought and he walked around the room picking at her possessions, lifting one of her more, feminine shoes in amusement. She huffed and snatched it from his hands, "You should be thinking of how you're going to break the news to Lady Stark, not looking through my possessions."

"As your father, should I not know what my daughter likes?"

He was infuriating! She huffed as he continued looking at her things, dresses, shoes and the occasional piece of jewellery. Like a child looking through their mother's drawers and there was nothing she could do as he continued his searching, but the sound of knocking on the wooden door cut through the silence, both heads shooting towards the door in confusion, having forgotten there was anyone else in the tower.   
  
"Your Highness?"

"Ah, Ser Arthur, yes come in."

Ser Arthur Dayne, the Dornishman scorned by his people for his betrayal of his Princess. She had seen him when he had stormed in with the other Knights, helping to tie her up and it had not crossed her mind that it was him. He was handsome even with the look of confusion on his face, it didn't take away from the dark colour of his eyes or the dark stubble on his face. But she turned him out as he spoke, it was only going to be about what he was going to do and why the Stark girl had left looking like someone had kicked her puppy, no loss there though, in Helaena's opinion it was what she deserved. She smiled at the thought of the Stark girl truly thinking she would give the Prince of the Red Keep a child, there was nothing being born from her womb, no child and she was happy. The Red Woman had warned her, warned her that a child might be placed there, to make it seem that she had birthed a child with the Targaryen Prince. But the Red Woman had told her the truth, the child was part Stark but not through the daughter, but the second son, Eddard Stark had a child with a Dornish woman and Lyanna had passed him off as her own. Eddard Stark had never known about his son, raising him and truly thinking he was his nephew. 

This was not how this was supposed to happen, she was supposed to be meeting her mother and bonding like any child should with their mother, not standing awkwardly as two men conversed in front of her, about her and having to stand and watch as they tried to keep their voices down. It was obvious they were talking about her, their eyes drifting over to her every now and then. She found herself looking out of the window as they spoke, there truly was nothing to see, sand for miles upon miles and the distant outline of mountains. She understood why he would come here, there was nothing around, no people no villages. Nothing to come looking for a runaway Lady and a Prince. 

It was a sad sight.

A gentle hand on her shoulder brought her out of her musing, Rhaegar stood behind her with a smile, a sad look still in his eyes, "We are leaving, what will you do now?" his hand stayed on her shoulder as he pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, it was an uncomfortably familiar thing, something he had probably done to Rhaenys on occasion and now doing to her as he waited for her answer.  
  
"I'll be going back."

"Will things be different when you do?"

"Maybe, only going back will tell."  
  
"Then I wish you a safe journey and I'll be there when you come back."  
  
Shock must have shown on her face, because he laughed, long and bright. Before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her forehead, pulled back and leant their foreheads against one another. Why, why did he have to be so kind? Why did he have to look at her with so much love behind that sadness? There was an ache in her chest, really, he was making it so difficult to hate him. Would he remember this and think about how rude she had been, or would be look back and laugh at the child he had not raised and still feel the love? How annoying. She hoped he would be a better father than he was a Crown Prince, running off with someone else while married with children and having the audacity to bring said mistress to his wife's homeland? She was equally as confused when her pack was handed back to her, everything she had brought with her was in there, her father had packed it for her before he left. It had been quick, a kiss pressed to her forehead a smile, a promise to see her soon and then he was gone, she watched it all from the window, the Stark girl having to be thrown onto the horse and her shrill cries ripping through the quietness. There was only one thing to do now, take her potion and go home. Which home she would be returning to, she wasn't sure, but it would have to be better than before.

The potion was sour when she drank it, and then she felt sick. Sicker than she ever had before and all she remembered was the room spinning and her vision blackening at the edges. She wanted that sick feeling to disappear and never come back. It built slowly in her stomach and pushed itself into her throat and stayed there. She was warm, sweat on her forehead and she didn't feel herself hit the floor, but it would leave bruises on her body and even the cool floor didn't help. The smell of lilacs was the only thing she would remember as her vision faded. 

What woke her up was her hair being stroked, voices humming in the background and the feeling of a soft mattress underneath her. A familiar face stared down at her when her eyes opened, he looked older and no less handsome. He had smile lines around his mouth and they became prominent as he noticed her eyes were open. It was his hand stroking through her hair, soothing her in a way she had only experienced when she was sick. He hadn't motioned to the other voices that she was awake, he only kept his hand running through her hair as she fought to stay awake.

He leant down and pressed his forehead against hers. He smelt faintly of lilac and the smell of burning wood, comforting and different to how he had smelt just hours ago.

"You are finally awake my little Dragon. We have much to talk about."


	4. A Different Life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is very! Different! To! The! Other! Chapters!  
> IGNORE THE GRAMMER.   
> Helaena was raised in Dorne by her mother along with Rhaenys and Aegon. Lyanna refused to show Jon to Rhaegar until they married and he threw Elia and the children out. He thinks that Jon is a girl, so he agrees and SURPRISE!!! You got tricked you stupid fuck. Nobody knows about this though, so. I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> Rhaenys is an angry and furious woman!   
> Aegon just wants to live happily with his mother and sisters.  
> Helaena just wanted to go away for a few days.

Helaena had always been different, something she had known since she had been a child. Though people were not cruel to her, they treated her kindly and always had a smile for the youngest of their Princess’ children. Her mother was a Princess of Dorne, born and raised in the sizzling heat of sand and mountains, sparkling water and kind people. Her mother had married, loved and been thrown away by a Prince, she stole her children away in the night and fled home, unknowingly with child and filled with a bubbling rage that would only be seen once, when Helaena was almost 18 summers. 

A letter had come one bright and warm morning, there had been laughter and cheer in the air, her cousins teased one another, her Uncles pat her head as they walked past her. Aegon had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, Rhaenys sitting proudly by her side. Mother had been especially happy, a crown of red and orange flowers sitting beautifully in her thick, dark hair, probably made by her youngest niece. When the letter had come, their mother had shot up and ran from the room, her skin ashen and they could only watch in shock as their Uncles hurried after her.

The cheer had gone as quickly as it had come.

Mother had locked herself away, only permitting her brothers inside her chambers. Neither of her three children saw her in days, only hearing passing words of encouragement from their Uncles. Aegon would pace in front of her and Rhaenys, arms crossed and brows furrowed in concentration, neither woman wished to interrupt him, it would only cause him to anger and leave. 

So they waited.

Some days passed quicker than others, some dragged on for so long that Helaena was sure that it had been weeks, not hours. They could only wait and wonder, what had caused their mother to flee in seemingly pure panic, there were not many things that could cause such a reaction. Sometimes, she caught Aegon and Rhaenys whispering to one another, jumping apart with strained smiles before leaving her alone. 

They sat in strained silence when mother made her appearance, dressed in dark burgundy and face still ashen and a forced smile painted on. They dared not speak, only waited as they had been doing for days, she sat neatly in her chair and placed the crumpled letter on the table. Helaena wanted to reach over and grasp her mother’s hands, but she stopped herself, Rhaenys was poised as always and so was Aegon, so she would not show them up by acting like a child. 

“I know I have left you all, with many questions. I am sorry my darlings, but it was a great shock to see it.”

“It’s alright mother.”

“A letter arrived from King’s Landing, from your father. He is planning a trip to check on his children and he is bringing his wife and child along.”

Helaena, had she not been paying attention, would have missed Aegon and Rhaenys’ reactions. Both of them tensed, shoulders tight and knuckles almost white with strain and there was a deep, dark fire in their eyes as their mother spoke. Uncle Oberyn would joke that the Gods had breathed fire into their veins so that one day their rage would break free and they would burn the world for all the wrongs done to them. 

She could see that fire and rage now. So deep it ran, that if she were to cut them open it would be a fire that poured out, not blood.

“He has only mentioned Rhaenys and Aegon in his letter, so we know that no word of your birth ever left Dorne Laena, so we are safe for now. But there is still the issue of what we must do when they arrive, I cannot ask you to hide away.”

“They will find out about her eventually, why not now? There is nothing he can do now, he cannot demand anything from us. We are children of Dorne and we have Uncle Doran’s protection.”

“Why must we welcome them? I for one think we should refuse, tell them to fuck off.”

“Rhae, they were already on their way when the letter came. We cannot refuse them now, it would only cause trouble. I was thinking of sending Helaena to the Water Gardens, with Ellaria and the younger girls.”

“I like the Water Gardens.”

“What if they always want to visit there? How can we ask Laena to move back and forth to accommodate them, it’s unfair.”

She truly did not mind going to the Water Gardens, it was a beautiful place filled with ponds and a large Palace that would be more than enough to keep her hidden away from prying eyes. It would be easier to avoid unwanted attention in that place, more so than here. Her cousins would be far too much a distraction, she would find it difficult to keep herself away. 

“I will go with her then, but I will follow after. As to not catch their attention, I do not have to answer their questions and it would give Laena and I some time to spend more time together. That would be fine, wouldn’t it?”

Mother nodded her head, it was not a terrible idea and Rhaenys was not required to spend more time than she had to with the visiting Royal Family, the only person who looked displeased was Aegon and it was because the invite had not been extended to him.

“It would look rude if all my children left and weren’t there to greet their father.”

Rhaenys scoffed, “How can you call that man a father?” her hands were clasped together on the table. Her fingers began to tap against the wood, a show of her increased irritation and annoyance at what was going on. They all knew it would only get worse, if they were to voice their concerns for her, so they allowed her to stew in her slowly growing rage. 

“He is not welcome, I will greet them with you, but I will not welcome him.”

“If that is your wish, then you may follow Laena to the Water Gardens. After, you have greeted your father and his family. But Aegon must stay, I cannot have all of my children running off and leaving me to fend them off.”

Aegon, to their surprise, had been more than happy to stay behind with their mother, a snide remark from him about their shared father and his new family. Not even mother made any move to admonish him. They had all heard, over the years of their father’s only son, his new and younger wife had been unable to carry a child in her womb, and any child born had lasted only days if not hours. The people of Dorne had whispered in the streets that it was the Gods, punishing the couple for their treatment of their Princess and her children. 

Aegon’s comments only continued, as the days came and went. Rhaenys had calmed down once mother had spoken to her, reminded that she and Helaena would be leaving once the greetings were given and they would enjoy a calm few weeks in the place they loved most. Helaena had been born in the Water Gardens, on a stormy night where lighting had lit the sky bright and thunder had shaken the ground. Everyone had been frightened, so sure that Elia would breathe her last bringing this child into the world, laying in a bed of blood with Ellaria there, holding her hand and so scared her brothers had been, that when cries of a newborn had rung out. Neither felt the joy they should have, already mourning for their lost sister. 

But Elia of Dorne was stronger than even her brothers knew. Pulling herself from the bed, she did everything a doting mother would do, raised her children, played with them and loved them. But the birth had taken a toll on her health, the long walks she would have usually enjoyed were now a struggle, walking too quickly would cause her to feel dizzy and sick. The children had never been their mother weak, and even at her weakest, it was difficult for the children to even notice. 

They all worried about this visit. The effect it would have on their mother, would it cause her health to fail even more. Rhaenys and Helaena knew they could rely on their brother to keep mother safe and stress-free, keeping those who would love more than to see the former Crown Princess of the Seven Kingdoms fall. Aegon had promised to send letters, to keep them in the know, anything and everything that would be said, he would relay it back to them. Helaena had not been to the Water Gardens in a while, so was most looking forward to seeing if anything had changed. Having her older sister there would be a joy, having not been able to spend much time with her when Rhaenys had come of age, coming and going from Dorne just as their Uncle Oberyn did. 

They all went their separate ways once mother had called the meeting to an end. Rhaenys to make preparations for their trip, Aegon off to find their older cousins and she had all but wandered around the palace without a care in the world. There was no need to worry about being found now, she would stay in her chambers until she and Rhaenys were ready to leave, mother had promised to see her off. Helaena still had a week or so before the King and his family arrived, so she would take this time to relax, mother had been worried that she would want to see her father, but she had reassured her mother that she cared very little for her father. It was all true, she had lived many years without a father and why would she want one now? She was a woman grown, flowered and of marriageable age, there was nothing he could offer her now, had she been a child? Maybe, because what child didn’t wish for the love of a father, but she had not been fatherless, not really, with her Uncles who would read to her and play with her. When they were not busy, her mother and siblings had doted on her from the moment she was born, Helaena lacked in nothing. Mother had looked so very sad, when Helaena had taken up the harp, playing beautiful but sad songs, something she was horrified to learn she had inherited from her father. She stopped playing once she realised how sad it made her mother, but Rhaenys had been the true reason, Helaena would see her standing close by while she played and her eyes had always looked so very sad and lost in memories that Helaena was not privy to. 

So she stopped.

She played other instruments instead, ones that didn’t bring her family memories of another life.

The week leading up to her trip went by very quickly, mother had given her a beautiful new dress and shoes. A new gown and she was excited. A trip to the Water Gardens was an exciting one, there were many things for her to do when she got there, Uncle Oberyn had offered to escort Rhaenys and Helaena, but both had refused and told him that they would be fine on their own. It was less than a day's ride, it would be over the top if they had an escort and it would have been harder to keep it under the radar when their father and his family came. 

Aegon and Rhaenys had come to see her that morning, Rhaenys to make sure that all of her luggage was ready and she was all packed, Aegon came with a promise to see the two of them off later on, when they were all finished with their greetings. He had pressed a kiss to her temple and Rhaenys had touched her shoulder and then they were gone, disappearing out of the door. She spent most of the day walking around her chambers, out onto the balcony and back inside, around her bathroom, back outside and so on. It was a continuous repeat that it took less than an hour before she was sneaking out of her chambers, she knew all the secret passages and knew there was only a small chance of getting caught. She knew mother would be furious when she found out, but there was only so much a young woman could take before she finally lost control of her mind. As she snuck around pillars, around walls and through doors, it never crossed her mind that she would actually be caught, not after coming so far. So when she slammed into the metal-plated armour, she flinched so violently that she fell onto the floor, it was nor a Dornish guard, they did not wear metal. Helaena kept her head low, her mother’s word echoing through her head if she was found the only thing that would give away her heritage were her eyes. The same eyes Rhaenys and Aegon had, it was the only thing that if seen, would bring their downfall.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.”

A man’s hand came into sight, held out to help her stand. She took it and was pulled quite quickly from the floor, once on her feet, she lowered her head once more. It was not unusual to do so, but she could not pass for a servant, not with her lavish dress.   


“That is quite alright, thank you for your help. But I must go, thank you again.”

She had made it to the end of the hallway when she saw Rhaenys standing with a man, his hair the same colour as Aegon’s, she could see the very colour draining from her sister’s face, ashen and eyes wide with shock and hint of anger Helaena had done the very thing she had promised not to and now she was going to get caught. Rhaenys tried to excuse herself, keeping his eyes away from Helaena, there had to be a way to keep him from figuring out who she was. Once he saw her, he would know. 

“Ah, Maria, are you looking for Aegon? He is in his chambers.”

“Maria?”

The man’s voice was deep, but it lacked any emotion. But when he turned around to face Helaena, his eyes looked bright when he looked at Rhaenys, pride shining in them. Rhaenys had moved away from his, arm wrapped around Helaena’s shoulders, she pulled Helaena close to her side and forced her head down.

“She is Aegon’s betrothed, from the Free Cities.”

Helaena jolted in surprise, such a stupid lie. But one they could not get out of now, she would find Aegon as soon as she could and tell him Rhaenys had said something stupid. Mother would be furious. Aegon would be just as unhappy, even a fake bride would be enough to make his blood boil.   


“Truly? I had no idea that he was planning to marry.”

“Because it’s none of your business.”

There was no hiding the venom in Rhaenys’ voice, though she had looked comfortable in conversation with her father, there was no hiding her lack of love for him. If possible, she pulled Helaena even closer to her, “Well we shall be leaving, I trust you can find your way back.”

Leaving him no time to answer, Helaena was dragged down the hall, back towards her own chambers and she was not excited for what was about to happen. She prepared herself for the yelling, that would surely bring Aegon to her chambers and then mother would somehow know that something was wrong and she would turn up.

What followed was an hour of raised voices and flared tempers. 

Mother and Aegon had indeed turned up during the yelling. Both concerned but angry that Helaena had all but ignored their advice and had snuck away like a child. But she had taken great pleasure in telling Aegon that she was now his fiance and she hoped he didn’t mind Rhaenys’ lying. Helaena had lain back on her bed and watched as both Aegon and mother turned their anger onto the eldest. 

“I must say, I could have chosen a worse lie.”

“By telling father that his second daughter is a noblewoman from the Free Cities and we’re going to get married?”

“Now he is going to want to meet her formally! He’ll know the instant he sees her eyes, Rhaenys how could you be so stupid.”

Mother fell back into her chair, face buried in her hands. Aegon placed his hand on her back, but it did nothing to make mother look any less sad, even Rhaenys looked uncomfortable, her hands twisted together. Her dress was dishevelled from her constant gripping of it.  


“It’s fine mother, there are many people in the Free Cities related to House Targaryen. I could be a very distant relation, it should be fine.”

Rhaenys brightened instantly, turning back towards mother. It might not have been a perfect lie, one that could fall apart if it came to light that she was actually Rhaegar’s child, not Aegon’s soon to be wife. But all they had to do was quietly inform everyone, have it spread everywhere but to those who would react with anger. She wondered how they would all react, her father, his wife and her half-brother. Would they be pleased or would they explode in anger at her being kept away from them? 

Mother raised her head, a determined look in her dark brown eyes, “Yes, I will inform Doran and Oberyn, Aegon I trust you will inform the others? Rhaenys and Maria have a trip to leave for.”

“We are still allowed to go?”

“Of course, you have been very excited about it, haven’t you?”

Helaena smiled, she had been looking forward to the trip. She would even be willing to listen to Rhaenys and her anger if it meant leaving for a trip, the anger simmered below the surface of both her mother and brother, but they all knew it could turn out worse if the lie did not spread. She and Rhaenys were quickly lead down towards the horse and carriage that was waiting for them, she bounded in excitement as they made their way outside. Her hand gripping Rhaenys’ tightly, she pulled her older sister as quickly as she dared, her mind only on their trip and not the disaster that they had created.

“You must calm yourself, you’re like a puppy.”

“Am I not allowed to be happy? We’re finally going to have time for one another! We can eat and sleep and just have fun Rhae.”

Her only answer was a chuckle.

Aegon had followed after them at a slower pace, he was more than happy to stay behind, but he wanted to spend time with his sisters too, had he been younger he might have pouted and thrown a tantrum to be allowed to go along with them, but Aegon would have to stay behind, to keep an eye on mother. It was a surprise to all three, when as they exited outside, there were three people waiting beside the carriage, to Aegon’s horror, his father had brought his whore and half-breed son to see his daughter and son’s betrothed off. How they had found out was unknown to him, but they had better pray he never found them, how dare they do something so disrespectful.

Their father shot them a smile as they came closer, Rhaenys’ had pulled away from Helaena as soon as the three had come into view, Aegon quickly coming to a stop beside the younger woman, his hand finding hers. It was a lie, but one they had to keep up. He was surprised at how tight Helaena gripped his hand, she was scared, he knew, as she pushed herself closer to him as though she sought to disappear inside of him.

“Aegon, Rhaenys. We had no idea you were planning a trip away.”

“Because it’s none of your business.”

Rhaenys hid a smile at the look of shock that covered her father’s face, what did he expect? Sugared words and happy smiles or a happy family reunion with the children he had thrown away? She sneered at the mother and son, both looking angry at her words, before calling for Helaena to get into the carriage, watching as Aegon gently led and helped her into the carriage, whispering unheard words into her ear and placing a gentle kiss to her cheek.

“Rhaenys-”

“Have you something important to say? As you can see we’re leaving.”

He only looked away from her cold stare, shoulder drew into himself. Nothing like the man she remembered, who had always looked fierce and strong, unbreakable, but now he was just a man. A sad and pathetic man that was allowing himself to be pushed around by his wife, what would his people think of him? If they could see him now, almost cowered in front of his wife, would they laugh or would they be surprised? From the rumours that flowed into Dorne, there was little love for the woman in Westeros, even her own people had turned their backs on her.   


“Aren’t you going to say something? She’s being disrespectful to us! They haven’t even greeted us!”

The shrill voice came from the woman standing at their father’s side, maybe once she had been beautiful, but the years had not been kind to the woman that had forced her way into their father’s life, ruining theirs and forcing them away. She had been the one, Rhaenys remembered, who had forced their father to choose between her and the child she carried, it had been a shock o the entire world when he threw his trueborn children and lawful wife away for a child barely old enough to have flowered. Rhaenys and Aegon hated her, just as much as they hated their father. He might even be pressed to say he hated her even more, while he would give his father an olive branch, he would give her nothing but thrones and barbed words. It was less than she deserved but he was nothing if not a gentleman.   


“Lya-”

“No! I’ve had enough of the snide comments and the rude looks! Now your bastard son and daughter and that whore are treating us like peasants!”

“That’s funny, coming from a woman whose marriage and child haven’t been recognised as legitimate. From a woman that is nothing more than a whore with a fancy title, who are you speak to a Prince and Princess of Dorne as though they were below you and who are you call me a whore.”

Helaena’s voice held none of the sweetness Aegon and Rhaenys were accustomed too, it had been replaced with a coldness they had only seen in their Uncles. She had come from the carriage, looking every bit the Princess she was, her eyes dark with fury and her hands fisted at her side. Mother would have been horrified had she been there, her youngest and some would say, the sweetest child now standing as a true Princess of Dorne. Uncle Oberyn would have applauded her as would his daughters, hiding laughter behind their hands and throwing looks of disgust to the woman who dared call the children of Princess Elia, bastards. 

“Were you anyone else I’d have you dragged and whipped for such disrespect? Come Rhaenys, there are no words for a stupid wolf whore and her pathetic husband.”

Rhaenys could only follow her orders, barely aware of anything happening around her, only the cold fury in her sister’s voice and the awe in Aegon’s eyes as he walked forward and pressed a kiss to Helaena’s lips, nodding his head to Rhaenys as he closed the carriage door. His heart was pounding in his chest, he had never seen Helaena like that, no matter if words were spewed with venom she had answered with nothing but sweetness. But even a docile animal would sometimes lose its mind.   


The shrill voice still rang out in the courtyard, but Aegon could only focus on the carriage carrying away his sisters, as they drew further away from him he paid more attention to his half-brother. Who had stood by and said nothing as his mother was belittled, head lowered to the ground in defeat, only flinching when called a half-breed. He pitied his brother, had their lives been different, they would have stood side by side as equals in Dorne, but he was not welcome here. None of them were.

“Aegon, you never told me you were betrothed.”

“Rhaegar!”

“Lyanna, we can discuss this later. Please.”

She huffed in anger before dragging her son away from them, distance did nothing to quieten her shrill shrieking voice. She was rude and disrespectful, it was no wonder few people wanted anything to do with her, she was not a woman that drew you in with sweetness. Aegon stood in discomfort, his father’s eyes focused on his face, eyes hopeful with his hands clasped in front of him.

“Yes, she is kind and lovely.”

“Are you happy?”

“Maria makes me very happy, she is like a flower blooming in the summer sun. Like God's breathed Starfire into her very being, just for me.”

His father’s eyes widened at his words, in wonder or surprise Aegon wasn’t sure, but he hadn’t lied. He had always held a special place for Helaena in his heart, but as Rhaenys held the other half, he loved them more than life itself and he would wage war to keep them at his side. Even against his father. Even against the world, he worried about what would happen if his wife found out about Helaena. She was not a forgiving woman, would she make atrocious demands? Would she demand the head of their mother for keeping Helaena a secret? Would their father allow this to happen? Would he even try and stop her? 

“You speak beautiful words, maybe you got that from me.”

Father gave a quiet, yet sad laugh at his own words. Head lowered to the floor and shoulders hunched over, he looked nothing like the King he was, but a sad and lonely man that was trying to bond with his eldest son. Aegon wished he could, wished he could be held by father and they could speak of the years that had passed with nothing but blank letters. But in doing so, would he not be wronging his mother? Would she not feel pain at the seeming betrayal of her only son? But Aegon had promised his mother he would try and be kind to his father, it would be the only time they had with one another.

“Would you like to take a walk around the gardens, Your Majesty?”

“Ah, yes.”

Father followed after him eagerly, looking happy. Aegon sighed, he was too kind, just as Rhaenys had teased, that he would be the first to offer an olive branch to their absent father. But he would not be lying, that it felt nice, to have this time with a man could scarcely remember, only blurry images in the back of his mind. They walked in silence, with only the sound of bird song and their own footfall, not that his father didn’t try, opening and closing his mouth, always on the edge of saying something and never letting any words come. Aegon wondered what his father’s wife's face would look like, if she saw father and son walking side by side, looking so alike. More so than her son. Would she scream in rage and yell? Or would she walk away with her head held high, proud in her ignorance? He shook his head at the thought, that woman never did anything with pride and walked around as though she was a victim. His mind wandered back to Rhaenys and Helaena, they would enjoy their time together while he would suffer and wither away in the company of father. He would deny later on, about how happy he truly was to be with his father, a man he had not seen since he was only a few years old. He had barely any memories of the man he would call father in his head.   


Meanwhile, Helaena and Rhaenys were already half-way to the Water Gardens, the closer they came the more excited she felt. They had not left as they had planned, but she was happy mother hadn’t been there when that shrieking woman had spoken such dreadful words. She wished that they could have brought mother and Aegon along, but it would have looked rude and unwelcoming and it wasn’t that they cared. But Uncle Doran had been disappointed by their delight at the thought of hurting the King’s feelings. 

“Shall we go for a swim when we get there?”

They fall back into a comfortable silence, Rhaenys resting her chin on her hand as she looks out of the window at the dull landscape of sand and distant mountains and Rhaenys has probably seen these views far more than Helaena had. Travelling around Dorne as she did, with stories of beautiful places and people that worshipped people that lived in the sea. Helaena had always wished to follow her, lost in the dreams of faraway places and people that spoke in strange tongues and smelled of the earth. 

“I might have a sleep before a swim, I’m quite tired now.”

“I can imagine, did you see the look on that stupid woman’s face? She looked as though she’d been sucking lemons.”

They shared a loud laugh at the look on the Northern woman’s face, laughed at the lack of response from her husband or son. They pitied Aegon, having had to leave him behind to deal with the inevitable fall out when word reached Uncle Doran that she had insulted his nieces and nephew. It spoke wonders to have Lyanna Stark was seen by her own husband, when he didn’t come to her defence. A weak and sad man. 

Within a few hours, they had arrived outside the gates of their residence, where they would spend as much time as they wished. They had their pick of any room they wanted, a rare treat when the halls were filled with the laughter of many children. They were quick to make a decision on two rooms that faced across the vast landscape, where miles of pools, sand and thick lush trees were on show. It had been well cared for in the family’s absence, as servants puttered around as they made their way through the winding halls.

“Aegon must be ripping his hair out by now, to be stuck with those people. I truly pity him.”

Helaena glanced up at her sister with amusement, “It would not be so bad, had you not lied about who I was. You could have told him I was Uncle Oberyn’s daughter.” it would have been an easier lie, much more believable than being Aegon’s future bride. It was common for members of their father’s family to marry one another, there were rumours that said he would have taken his younger sister for a second bride, had the Sept not interfered and put a stop to it. Mother had never spoken of marriage with them, so Helaena had always assumed she would marry whomever she wished as would Rhaenys and Aegon. 

“I won’t actually have to marry Egg though, will I?”

“You could marry someone much worse.”

“I am not going to marry Egg.” 

Rhaenys only responded with laughter, Helaena had always been terribly easy to tease, there was nothing funnier than seeing her little sister’s face flushed in anger. Helaena had all of mother’s good qualities, and the only thing inherited from their father was her eyes and the sadness that would sometimes drift into those eyes. Rhaenys wrapped her arm around Helaena’s shoulders, pulling her tightly into her side and only let Helaena go when they reached her chosen chambers. 

One day, they might have to let Helaena go forever. 

The thought of her disappearing into the arms of their father was enough for a deep hatred to come over Rhaenys, there would never be a day where she would willingly let that happen. Her father would have to beg on his knees before she was allowed to even be in the same room as her, she and Aegon would never allow it. Rhaenys would see Aegon and Helaena married and s afe before their father found out about her. 

They spent almost a week in peace.

Swimming and painting.

They even danced.

There had been no warning, only a shout from the nearby servants. 

Rhaenys had been sitting on the fountain when Aegon came rushing through the gardens, hair a mess and face flushed red. His eyes were wide with fear and he grabbed Rhaenys by her shoulders as soon as he saw her, his grip was bruising and tight. His eyes were wild and almost crazed, Rhaenys felt her heart pounding.

“Where is she!?”

“Egg, what’s wrong?”

His voice caught in his throat and his head fell between them and his shoulders heaved as he tried to speak. Rhaenys had never seen him like this, not once and she didn’t like it, whoever had done this would answer to her. He sobbed and heaved in her arms, shaking.   


“ _ They know _ .”

It was whispered in a broken tone, his voice cracking as he let Rhaenys pull him into her arms. He sobbed into her neck, his nails dug into her back painful and deep, but she didn’t stop him. As soon as those words had come out, her heart had stopped, she felt a coldness sweep over her and deep into her bones. 

“What? How?”

He could barely answer her questions, still gripping her tight as though scared she would disappear into nothing. They stood there for a while, as he calmed down and Rhaenys tried to make sense of what could have happened. After a while Aegon pulled back, his face flushed and eyes swollen pink.

“A stupid servant let slip to his whore wife, she flew into a rage and attacked mother. He heard it as he pulled her off, mother was furious. We can’t stay here, he demanded Helaena be brought back or he would come for her himself.”

“How could this have happened?”

“The servant hadn’t been told, so when the whore asked she was told that there was no such woman in the palace, only Helaena, mother’s youngest child.”

Rhaenys cupped her brother’s face, trying to make him feel better. She placed a kiss on his head. Her breathing was heavy, her body shook with something other than anger, she was scared.  


He was right.

They couldn’t stay here.

Helaena would be devastated. 

“He tried to come after me, but mother managed to talk him down. They had gone to chambers when I left, Uncle Oberyn helped me.”

“Where will we go?”

“You won’t be going anywhere.”

The voice chilled them to their bones.

Rhaenys was staring right into the eyes of a man that looked as though he would feel nothing if he ran them through with the sword gripped in his hand. His white hair was just as dishevelled as Aegon’s had been, face flushed red and he breathed heavily in anger. For the first time, in a long time. Rhaenys was frightened and she pushed Aegon behind her. It would not stop father from getting to him, but it would give Egg time.

“How dare you try and trick me! I am your father!”

Rhaenys said nothing as he stalked closer, her eyes were on the sword and it shone so bright in the sun, it would be a quick death if he used it. Her chest constricted at the thought, he would not weep tears for her or Aegon if he killed them. His unwanted children, he would be relieved to finally be rid of them.

“How could we tell you? When this is how you react? You come here, with a sword as though you mean to kill us, how could we tell you about her? You’re a danger to her.”

“I would never harm my child!”

“Yet you barely batted an eye when you cast us out! You said nothing as we were forced from our home and thrown away! You didn’t care about us! How dare you! How dare you come here with your weapon drawn! You have no right!”

Rhaenys let herself scream at him, her anger had reached its breaking point. Not even mother could calm her now, Aegon backed away from her in fear. He had seen the damage done when her anger was released, he shook his head at the figure huddled against the wall, her eyes filled with fear at the sight in front of her. 

“Rhae-”

“No Egg! He has no right! He is not a father, not to us! He loves his whore wife and his filthy half-breed son! But now he wants her! You can’t have her, she is ours! I will kill you before you take her from us!”

“I don’t want to take her from you.”

There was anger in his voice as he spoke, but he backed down as Rhaenys yelled at him. He even dropped the sword that had been clutched in his hand, Aegon pulled his sister back to calm her down. 

“I just want to know why you lied to me.”

Aegon could do nothing as Helaena showed herself, drawing all of their attention. She had been crying, her cheeks damp and hands shaking. She kept her eyes on their father as she rushed to their side, hands coming up to clutch at Aegon’s shirt. His arms came around her, pulling her close and away from the searching eyes of the man in front of them.

“What’s going on Egg?”

“Nothing Laena, don’t worry, he was just leaving.”

“Sunsh-”

  
“Don’t! You have no right to call me that. Not anymore.”

He looked at the three of them standing together as someone would look at Gods. He said nothing as he watched them, his hands coming up to cover his face and his shoulders shook under the shock of it all. Helaena didn’t know what it was, but something that had lain dormant inside of her for a very long time reared its head. She tried to push it down, lock it away like she had done so many times before, but it refused to be silenced this time. 

“I’ll speak to him.”

All three looked at her, Rhaenys with anger and Aegon with confusion. She kept her eyes away from their father, “But you can stay close by.” it was met with instant refusal, their voices raised in anger and caution. She stood her ground this time, if he wished to see her then she would allow it, but not without Egg and Rhaenys close by.

“Please. Just this one thing, I won’t ask again.”

They relented after what seemed like hours, leaving to stand amongst the flowers. Close enough to jump in if anything were to happen. Helaena beckoned to their father to join her at the fountain, her yellow dress fanned out around her, a vision in yellow, a colour that brought out her beauty. 

“What is your true name?”

“Maye Maria really is my name.”

“No, Elia never liked that name. If she were to name you, it would not be Maria.”   


“Helaena is the name gifted to me.”

He smiled, and she was struck for a moment on how beautiful he was. A true vision, just like Aegon and Rhaenys, so painfully beautiful. No wonder mother had fallen hard for this man, even his voice was beautiful.

“You look just like Egg.”

“Rhaenys is the spitting image of your mother but you? You look so similar to my own mother, I’m ashamed I didn’t see it sooner,” he touched her hair as he spoke, a forlorn look in his eyes, “A beautiful silver.” She could see Aegon pulling Rhaenys back when his hands touched her hair.

“Your Majesty-”

“Ah, will you not call me father?”

Heat rushed to her cheeks as he smiled, “No, not yet.” He kept the smile as he continued, “There are many regrets I have in my life Helaena, sending your mother and siblings away is the biggest regret I have ever committed.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“I was lost, lost in the wonders of prophecy and magic. I was so sure that Lyanna would give me the second daughter I desired after your mother and I were told that she would bare no more children. The thought of losing her made me do many things that I regret.” 

“But you don’t have any more children?”

“No, the promise Lyanna made was a lie. I was stupid enough to believe her, I was foolish and I thought it was destiny. Only after sending your mother away did I find out the truth, the daughter she told me she bore was a son. I was enraged, but it was too late. I had split the world apart for this woman and I had to pay for it.”

“You didn’t want to send my mother away?”

“No, but how could I let her live there in humiliation? I would have sent Lyanna away had I known the truth, it is why I refused to have any more children. The first fight we had was over Jon’s name, she had demanded to name him Aegon but I refused, I already have a son with that name.”

“Then why send them away?”

“You all would have been in danger, Lyanna had threatened the lives of Aegon and Rhaenys, when she found out that Jon would be third in line, not the heir. How could I keep my children there, knowing that every second of their lives, they would have been in danger?”

“You should have told them all the truth, then Rhaenys would not hate you and Aegon wouldn’t resent you.”

“I must pay for the crimes I committed. Even if it means only seeing you one time, you look like you have had a kind life, one filled with laughter and love.”

She only nodded in response, the silence that fell over them was not an awkward one. Just a calmness that Helaena enjoyed, she could see Rhaenys and Aegon from the corner of her eye, watching with looks of curiosity on their faces and both were quick to turn around when they noticed her staring. 

“I believe you owe Egg and Rhaenys an explanation.”

“Yes, but perhaps later when they have calmed down?”

Helaena nodded her head, content to just sit there in silence while her siblings watched from the sidelines, unwilling to come any closer unless they were invited by Helaena or their father. It was so very childlike that Helaena couldn’t stop the smile from blooming on her face, she loved her brother and sister. But it felt wrong to have all of this attention when they were the only ones who had memories of the man, so she stood up and gestures for them to come over.

“Egg, come here I have something to tell you!”

“Ah, coming!”

He jogged over with a smile, he was quickly followed by an irritated Rhaenys. Who huffed and puffed as she stomped over, arms crossed with a scowl on her face. They stood while their father stayed seated, “You look identical! Look, he even has a dimple like you!” Helaena pushed Aegon’s cheek to emphasise her point, while he batted her hand away with a laugh.

“Of course they look alike, they are father and son.”

Rhaenys’ trip had been ruined, she had been enjoying her time with Helaena and now there were two obstacles in her way to keeping that time for just the two of them. He was sitting happily on the fountain, a look of content painted on his face and it annoyed her, sitting there as he had all but forgotten everything that he had done. But Helaena and Aegon looked happy enough to have him there, she couldn’t send him away, she might have hated him but she wanted her siblings to be happy and so she decided to keep her mouth shut.

“I should be going back, they might be worried about me.”

“There are guards outside, aren't there?”

He only smiled before standing up, his hands wavered for a few seconds before he bowed and walked away. An awkward silence fell over them, before Rhaenys let out a long sigh, “Shall we go then?” two bright smiles were her only answer before they were rushing after their father, Helaena’s dress billowed out behind her and Aegon held her hand to pull her along. 

“Wait! We’ll come with you!”

Mother was going to be furious, Rhaenys thought to herself, as she watched Helaena sit beside their father, arms entwined and a smile on their faces. It should be a dream, something she should keep to herself but this was reality. They were reunited with their father, all four of them together and it was not terrible. She feared the reactions from their family and his.   
  
"Come Sunshine, sit beside your brother."

She huffed before taking her seat, the guards had been confused by the appearance of them altogether. 

"Look at us, all together like a real family."

They said little else on the way back to Sunspear. All lost in their own thoughts, but the one thing that didn't change was the arm Helaena kept entwined with their father. It was the closest they had ever been and it would take an age to tear the two apart. She had even rested her head on his shoulder and Rhaenys tried to ignore the way his chest puffed out like a peacock and she very much ignored his eyes on her and Aegon, with his mouth open as he snored away his worries joining his younger sister in slumber. Rhaenys pulled her impulse to shove him away when his head fell onto her shoulder, but she was his older sister and if he wanted to rest then who was she to deny him?

"What are you going to do? When we go back?"

"We shall worry about it when we get there."

"Your wife will be furious, not only did she find out about another child but you all but abandoned her and your son to come and see Helaena. You'll have to be a father and protect her, it's the least you can do."

"I won't let her harm any of you, I promised your mother."

She turned her face away when he smiled at her, his voice whsipering his nickname for her. He had always called her his Sunshine.

"Everything will be fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhaegar calls his children by these nicknames;  
> Rhaenys- My Sunshine  
> Aegon- My Moon  
> Helaena- My Stars
> 
> He isn't very close to Jon because of Lyanna.  
> Maybe in another story.   
> Also, maybe another chapter for this one? I can explore on bonding with his siblings.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THESE ARE MY BABIES  
> LOOK AT THEM  
> HELAENA  
> AEGON   
> RHAENYS  
> MY BEAUTFUL BABIES.


	6. Jon.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this quick paced?  
> Yes.  
> But do I mind?  
> No C:

Jon watched as his mother paced back and forth in their Dornish chambers. Heart pounding and hands shaking. She was crazed, muttering under her breath about father, he wasn’t sure what was going on and he had only watched as father left in a rush with his Kingsguard. The sight of him rushing off had sent his mother into a frenzy, shouting and throwing things around the rooms and he was forced to just sit there, doing nothing. Her hair had come undone and was a mess of dark brown and even her dress had not survived her rage. It had been a gift of good-will from the Martell’s.    
  
“Jon, you must not let them steal it from you, promise me okay!?”

Her hands were cold and harsh as they grabbed him, he winced in pain and wished that father would hurry and come back. Maybe he could calm her down, though lately there were barely any words spoken between them, Jon knew why. He knew why his father rarely looked at him with love or held him close, he had seen father and his half-brother walking through the gardens in the palace. His heart had clenched at the sight of father’s bright smile and how alike the two looked, once he had wished for the same thing.   
  
When the servant girl had misspoken, telling mother about the girl who had left with Rhaenys days ago and it had shocked them all, but not as much as it had father. He had stood in shock, the truth finally coming out and he had wished nothing more than for it to be true. Another sibling, there were four of them now. He would keep it a secret that he was happy about it.    
  
She had been thrown into her chambers after attacking Princess Elia, it had horrified him at the sight of his mother throwing herself at the smaller woman. He had rushed to pull her away, but Prince Oberyn got there quicker and he had thrown the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms across the floor in his rage. Jon had done nothing to stop him, how could he as the Princess Elia lay in a heap on the floor. Back dripping and ripped with scratches. 

He thought of his sister (sisters his mind whispered) how strong and proud she had looked when they arrived, she was beautiful and it was painful to look at her, exactly the same as it was with Aegon. His hands had shook at the sight of them standing side by side, a part of him cried that he should have been standing beside them. He should not have to be kept wrapped in furs and crazed whispers from his mother, how the Iron Throne belonged only to him and how he was the only true son that father had. He knew it was a lie, his Aunt, Uncle and grandmother reminded him of it all the time, he looked nothing like them and acted nothing like them.

He prayed that father came back soon.

Who knows what mother would do otherwise?

She had attacked Princess Elia, would she attack Rhaenys and Aegon? Father and the daughter they had not known about? Mother was crazed with anger, like he had never seen before. The only time he had seen any anger in mother was whenever someone was stupid enough to mention the former Crown Prince and his other family, she had all but scarred Cersei Lannister’s face when she made mention of Dorne. It had taken father a long time to make amends with Tywin Lannister and his heir Jaime. 

He was forced to sit there for what felt like days, the longer father was gone, the further his mother seemed to slip away. She had taken to tearing the decorations off of the walls, cursing the Martell’s and even the poor servant girl who had come to deliver their dinner had not gone unscatched, a pot of boiling water thrown at her.

The sky had turned dark by the time father made his appearance, looking as though nothing had happened. Mother threw herself at him in a show of tears and begged him to do something about the awful people that had locked them away, crying as though she had done nothing to deserve being there. Father had gently pushed her away, before demanding that Jon follow him and it had sent mother into another crazed state. But father had only turned his back, grabbing Jon’s arm and pulled him away, but he could still hear mother yelling and and crying. 

Father said nothing as they walked through the Halls, towards the area he knew the Maretell’s stayed. His heart began to pound in his chest, blood rushed to his ears and he wondered why he was being brought along. The only thing keeping him grounded was his father’s tight grip on his arm, was he being punished or was father sending him away? How could Jon blame him, he was nothing like Aegon, standing tall and proud. Handsome in such a heartbreaking way, but they all were, Rhaenys, Aegon and Helaena. So beautiful it hurt to look at them, he looked nothing like them. Too pale, too dour and too Northern.

They stopped in front of large decorated double doors, the sound of voices muffled through the thick wood. The nerves shot through him and he said nothing as father turned to face him, his grip loosening and a look in his eyes Jon had never seen before.

“I think it’s about time you met your siblings, don’t you?”

“They want to?”

Father’s eyebrows drew together in confusion, “Of course, they spoke of nothing else on the way back from the Water Gardens.” his heart pounded, but differently, not in fear or confusion. He tried to push the small hope that bubbled up in his heart down, down where it could stay hidden away when he was pushed aside because he didn’t belong with them. Not him, his mother always said he was far too serious for a Northern wolf and he remembered his father’s angry retort that Jon was a dragon before he was a wolf.

“Mother said they wouldn’t want to.”

“Your mother does not hold the world in her hands Jon, if your siblings wish to speak to you, then you can. Regardless of what she says.”

Father opened the door before Jon had a chance to say anything, the muffled voice became quiet and Jon could feel his face flushing red when three sets of eyes stared at him. Rhaenys was sitting beside the open balcony doors, Aegon lounged on the large armchair and Helaena sat upon some type of armless chair (a pouff). 

“Jon!”

“Come in!”

He can barely suppress the smile blooming on his face at the invitation to join them, from father's huff of laughter Jon knows that he too is very happy with the scene playing out in front of it. But his heart nearly stops and the colour drains from his face at the sight of Princess Elia coming through the door behind Helaena, she looks lovely of course. But he can barely stop the apologises from rushing out of his mouth at the sight of scratches on her arms and back.

Father places a hand on his back to push him into the room. Aegon gestures for Jon to sit beside him and he feel the flush returning full force at the smile on the other man's face. He looks for too relaxed for a man meeting his younger half brother, who had usurped his place as their father's heir. But it was as though none of it mattered, not when Helaena began asking him questions and the others joined in, even their mother spoke to him, a kindness in his voice he had scarcely heard in his life.

He wondered what it was like for them, his brother and sisters, growing up with a mother than was like the sun itself. So warm and welcoming, even to him. Was she a doting mother that kisses her children's cuts and bruises? Did she read them to sleep and let them climb into her bed when they had a nightmare? 

Father had taken a seat beside Rhaenys, who looked less than pleased at the intrusion of their father. Though you would find it hard to see, if you looked only at father's face, he looked at ease for the first time ever. He looked younger and happier than Jon could remember seeing him, unless he was with his own siblings. 

"Jon, are you enjoying Dorne?"

"It's beautiful, but very warm."

It was not a silence he was used to, no longer a silence that seemed to come up and suffocate him. No, this was the silence a family that loved each other had, because there was no need for idle talks and insincere conversations about things they didn’t really care about. He couldn’t stop his eyes from trailing over those in the room, to Aegon sitting beside him, an arm thrown around his shoulders. Rhaenys and father sitting beside one another (looking less comfortable) Helaena and Princess Elia. 

Jon didn’t belong here.

Not with the love that shone in Princess Elia’s eyes as she looked at her youngest child. Or father’s look of pride as he scanned his children sitting together. 

Mother would be furious.

As a child he truly feared the moods she would lose herself in. The throwing, the screaming and the look she would give him. He could still remember father’s fury when she had trashed the old nursery, he had never seen his father so angry. A true Dragon (that’s how Uncle Viserys called him). Father had locked himself away in the nursery, to fix the old furniture that was in there (Rhaenys and Aegon’s furniture). He had never been raised in that nursery, not because father hadn’t wanted him to be, it was because mother wanted him raised above it, a new nursery had been erected and he had been in there, with Aunt Dany while she grew. 

Mother had thrown a fit about that as well.

Jon felt himself being pulled closer to his older brother, though made no mention of it. He allowed the voices to sooth him, lost in conversations about things he didn’t know, but there was nothing rude or wrong about it. Jon felt comfortable, not even the servants that brought in drinks and food looked at him in confusion. They thought he belonged there. He took the tea offered by Princess Elia, the cakes given to him by Helaena and nothing felt wrong. 

They sat there for a long time.

He almost felt like it was too long.

Mother must be worried.

The sky had turned black by the time he and father left, Aegon had ruffled his hair, Helaena and Rhaenys pressed kisses to his cheek and Princess Elia had placed a hand on his back. Father had led him back to the chambers where his mother was, he ignored the flare of fear that seized his heart at the thought of seeing her so soon. 

“I’ll go in first, stay out here.”

The familiar faces of the Kingsguard looked at him with small smiles, whispered words to their father before he had disappeared through the doors. There was no sound, so Jon assumed mother was inside the bed chambers and sent silent prayers to keep father safe from whatever would be said.

Mother could be cruel when she wished.

Sometimes she wished death upon the people that father loved the most, she had once wished death upon grandmother, because she had ‘dared’ question mother’s punishments. Grandmother said they were too cruel and mother had lashed out (as she usually did) and the only time he could remember seeing mother upset was when Uncle Ned had visited from the North and had refused to meet with her. Jon had only found out why when he was almost a man grown, he’d not even known he was the youngest of three. Not the only child his mother had always said he was, having been told by a drunk Viserys and the fallout had been explosive. Mother and father had fought like they never had before, father always assuming that Jon knew and mother refusing to admit she had done anything wrong.

They stood in silence for what felt like hours before the door opened, father appeared with a bruise forming on the side of his face and Jon was horrified to realise that mother must have hit him or at least thrown something at him. The guards had drawn their sword but father had told them to stand down, Jon found himself being pulled once again down the corridor and back to the room he had been in earlier. Everyone was still there and had looked up in surprise to see them once again and their reaction to seeing father’s face surprised even him. He had been most shocked by Rhaenys’ reaction, she had touched father’s shoulder in concern.

  
“Might Jon be able to stay with you tonight Aegon? I’m afraid some matters must be seen too.”

Aegon had readily agreed for Jon to share his room, almost looking quite excited to spend more time with him. Rhaenys and Helaena had offered their own rooms, but Aegon was quick to shoo them away, he and Jon would have some time to bond as only brothers could. Rhaenys and Helaena had one another, Aegon said, and now he had his own side-kick.

It was the most accepted Jon had ever felt.

It would be the last time they saw their father with a smile on his face, his face free of shadows and the stress of life. Even Princess Elia had smiled at their father, and as they left together. None of them could have known what would happen and it would haunt them for the rest of their lives.

The four siblings would especially become close, drawn together in their shared pain and grief. 

The world would be thrown into chaos when the alarm was raised, the King had been stabbed.

Jon knew his mother had some difficulties, but he never would have thought she would go so far in her rage, killing their father before he could truly repent for his sins. Rhaegar Targeryan had died in Dorne, with blood dripping from his lips and held in the arms of his youngest daughter. He had not cried as he passed, only smiled and asked for his children, Helaena had been inconsolable as she held her father.

How cruel life was to give him to her, only to yank him away as quickly.

Rhaenys had held his hand, Aegon and Jon had stood behind them. Neither truly knowing what to do, even Princess Elia had held the hand of the man that had once thrown her away like she was nothing. Rhaegar had begged for her forgiveness and Princess Elia, ever kind and forgiving, had given it to him with a smile and a kiss to his hand. Rhaenys had refused to admit that she had cried like the child she had once been, crying for the father she would now be forced to lose again and this time, he wasn’t coming back.

Jon felt numb as he watched it all unfold in front of his eyes. The only thing keeping him grounded was his brother’s hand squeezing his shoulder. The sound of Helaena sobbing, head bent and arms wrapped around father, even when he took his last breath, it was her name falling from his lips, content and happy.

Jon didn’t know what became of his mother, the guards had taken her away in chains. Taken back to Westeros, to be given a trial. Grandmother would mourn for her oldest son, Uncle Viserys had disappeared back to Dragonstone in his grief, quickly followed by his sister and mother, Jon had never felt so alone. The trial itself had been simple, the Queen had lost her mind and killed her own husband, there had been no need for an investigation. Not when she admitted with a crazed smile she had done it, it had damaged the relations between the North and the South. Only made worse by Jon doing what he did, a decision that had consequences. 

He had refused to take the crown, the North had yelled its outrage, assuming he had been overthrown, he had never been accepted by the nobles or the peasant as the Heir and he would not be now. Not now they knew Aegon and Rhaenys were alive, he had stepped down and Aegon had been crowned King of the Iron Throne to his mother’s dismay and his sisters’ amusement. Their Uncle had been more than happy to now be asked to take the crown, more than happy with his quiet life on Dragonstone with his mother and sister, until he had been forced to marry. To everyone’s shock Rhaenys and Vserys quickly married and were expecting their first child. 

Jon never married, he stayed loyal to his King and crown as an advisor. 

Maybe women were brought to be Aegon’s bride, it had been of no surprise when his bride was a young noblewoman from Dorne. A pretty little dark skinned woman with thick black hair and sparkling brown eyes, she had been easily accepted into the fold.They had four children, joined by even more cousins and it was a family filled with joy, every time they came together was a new adventure. Jon quickly became every child's favourite Uncle, never a dull moment when he was being followed around by little legs, beggining for attention or stories.   


Jon's life had not been the happiest of beginnings.

When he came to the end of his life, with his hair as silver as he once wished it was and wrinkles galore, he would say it was the hapiest life anyone would ever live, loving sliblings, nieces and nephews. A life filled to the brim with laughter and love. He died with a smile on his face and the image of his family waiting with open arms to welcome him once again, as they had so many years ago. 


	7. Dany.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where Dany, Viserys and Helaena found each other. Before Viserys tried to kill Dany and Helaena's appearance, shocks him into being good.  
> Why?  
> Because I said so.
> 
> Also lots of Rhaegar hate, some less for Lyanna (book version, she's a child) I think? I don't know if it came out the way I wanted it to. 
> 
> BUT ANYWAY I HATE HIM AND I HOPE IT DEATH HURT LIKE HELL.
> 
> Let me know what you think?

Daenerys had hidden her anger behind pretty smiles and laughter. The rage that had burned inside was like nothing she had ever experienced, not even when Viserys had been at his worst. 

Jon Snow.

She had heard many things about him from Tyrion and Varys, they had warned that he hid his cunning behind a dull face and heard work. They had never thought he would try and worm his way into both her heart and her bed, try as hard as he had and Daenerys had only watched in amusement. 

He had tried so hard to convince her, “Look at my eyes Dany, don’t they look like yours?” No, she had thought, they look nothing like my eyes or Viserys’ eyes. They were dark and dull, he had tried so very hard to make himself her nephew. 

How could he have known?

How could any of them have known?

Jon Snow was about as related to her as she was to House Lannister.

Jon Snow was nothing but a Bastard born in shame, who wished to make something of himself. It would be admirable, had he been anyone else. But he was not just anyone, he was a Northern bastard that thought he could trick her, trick her into thinking he was her family. Daenerys was not the same little girl who had been sold to Khal Drogo all those years ago, she had loved and lost and grown in her grief. 

She had not been alone during any of it. Though Viserys was difficult at the best of times, he had held her hand as she birthed her dead son, he had nursed her back to health and carried her when she was weak. They had not been alone, with their sweet niece beside them with her silver hair and violet eyes. Her kind smile and her soothing hand. 

No, Daenerys had never truly been alone.

It was their niece that had brought her brother back to his former self, defending Daenerys from venom-filled words and hands-on flesh. She would always be thankful for that, she didn’t know what would have happened, had they not found her when they did. Viserys had known straight away, because of her eyes (he wept) she shared their eyes and he had held nothing back as he cried. 

Her greatest fear had been leaving them in Meereen, so sure that her brother would want his throne. All he had done was kiss her head and wish her luck, a promise to join her as soon as they could. It had been the thought of them that kept her going all those days and weeks alone, the thought of their reunion in the home that had been stolen from them all. Her niece had laughed and told Daenerys she would be a fine Queen.

How could she sit back and watch this Northern man make false claims? 

Varys had sent the letter on her request, Tyrion had been confused and Daenerys had forgotten. He had not met her niece, having arrived just after she had left for Dorne, he knew of her but had never seen her. One look was all it took for Vary to know who she was, the eyes of her father staring back at him. 

They would be here soon.

The only good thing her older brother had done,was giving her Helaena. He was the reason she and Viserys had been forced from their home and thrown into a life filled with pain and struggle. He was the reason that Viserys had lost himself for a while, lost in memories of people she would never meet, like her mother or Good-Sister. Her niece Rhaenys or her nephew Aegon. He had stolen that from her, from the life she could have had in Westeros. But he had been a stupid and pathetic man, it was a wonder than Jon wasn't his son. 

Daenerys had allowed his comments to go on for a while, he would soon swallow his words in shock when faced with the child he made claim to be. At the sight of Viserys whose false death had been covered up so deep, Daenerys could barely make sense of it. 

They were striking standing together with Drogon behind them. They almost glowered in the winter sun and Daenerys had hidden her smile once again. Jon had demanded to know who they were, Missandei had strolled forward and announced the arrival of Viserys and Helaena Targaryen. The brother and niece of Queen Daenerys Targaryen. She had watched the colour drain from the faces of those standing around, as realisation dawned on them that Daenerys was not the last Targaryen. 

Daenerys had pulled Helaena into a hug when they were alone, content and at peace in the familiar and warm arms of her niece. The all too familiar scent of lemons clung to Helaena’s skin and hair, Daenerys could very happily stay there for a lifetime, but there was only so many hours in a day and Viserys was looking less and less happy as the minutes dragged on. Daenerys drew herself away from the embrace and Viserys’ warm hand found her shoulder, they had many things to discuss.

“Your letter sounded hysterical Dany, maybe it’s time for you to tell us why?”

So she did, Daenerys told them both of Jon Snow and his lies. Viserys had laughed when she said Jon thought he was Rhaegar’s son, Helaena had said nothing. Just sat lost in her own thoughts, Helaena rarely spoke, only when she deemed it important enough or that she had something important to say. But this time she could not stay silent, because someone was claiming to be her brother, who had stolen her dead brother’s name and there was nothing to stay silent about anymore. 

“Laena, what do you think?”

“I think I no longer feel sad at Rhaegar’s death, not now. Not now there’s a risk he’ll be believed, and you’ll lose your throne. But everyone in Dorne knows, Lyanna Stark did have a child, but it never took a breath. How could he be a dead child, buried in its mother’s arms?”

“They’ll claim it was a cover-up.”

“Then it is cruel to claim the identity of a dead child. One that never received a name and had been a secret for many years.”

“What a terrible thing we’ve found ourselves in.”

Helaena stood up, smoothing her dress out as she did so, “Then let us show them, what a terrible thing they have done.” she picked up an old, heavy book that had been opened beside her before Daenerys or Viserys could say anything, Helaena was already gone. Rather than leave her to face the lords alone, both were quick to follow after her.

They could hear the loud voices from behind the closed doors, muffled yet it did nothing to stop them from hearing some shouts of excitement and anger. Helaena waited until her Uncle and Aunt had caught up to her, saying nothing as the door opened and the voices quietened to nothing when they made their entrance. Helaena could see the man who had made the claims of being her brother sitting as though he was already a Targaryen King. his sisters/cousins beside him and a young boy in a wheelchair. 

“I have come to speak to the so-called Targaryen King.”

“Then speak.”

Helaena didn’t like the way he spoke to her, his voice cold and demanding. She opened the book and began to read, “Rhaegar Targaryen stole away the daughter of House Stark, carried her off into the unforgiving and hot deserts of Dorne. There, he tried to have his lawful marriage to Princess Elia Martell of Dorne annulled, but without her knowledge, it was denied. There he put a child inside of an unwilling Lyanna of House Stark, but neither mother or child would survive the terrible conditions of Dorne. Tell me, Jon Snow, how a child that died in Dorne somehow found it’s way to the North alive? When it was buried in the arms of its mother?”  “The book you’re reading from it lies.”

“It was a book brought especially from the Citadel, tell me Jon Snow. How is it possible that a dead child sits in front of me claiming to be my dead sibling?”

He floundered, spluttering and gesturing his hands around. 

“It seems you have tried to deceive my Aunt and your Queen. Why? Did you truly believe you were the son of a madman? Even if you were, you are a bastard and have no claim to the Iron Throne.”

“He may still be your brother.”

“Then let us test it, shall we? If you are truly a Targaryen, then you’ll be immune to fire, let us see if this so-called Targaryen bastard is the same.”

“No, our brother Bran saw it. He saw Lyanna Stark, my Aut, birth Jon in Dorne.”

“Did he? Then tell me Bran Stark, was it a living child you saw or a dead one?”

Blank eyes met her own, saying nothing and Helaena could feel the anger burning inside of her. He was as much a liar as his bastard cousin/brother was.

“Jon Snow is nothing but a southern-born bastard of Lord Eddard Stark. There is no Targaryen blood running through his veins. I will be kind this time, but listen to this, if you make this claim again, to lie not only to your people but to me? I’ll have you executed.”

“This does not excuse the crimes your grandfather has committed against my family..”

Helaena looked at the pretty red-haired woman sitting beside Jon Snow. she was a beauty, with her pale skin and striking blue eyes. Helaena started back at her, noticing the little dark-haired one moving closer. Lady Sansa Stark, her Aunt had made mention of the woman many times, cold and rude. But Daenerys could not blame her, she had lost her own family due to stupid mistakes, they might have been friends if life had been different. Had life been different, Helaena would still have her family and Daenerys and Viserys would have lived a life they deserved.    


“No, it doesn’t. My father was a madman. He kidnapped and raped your Aunt, causing her death in the childbed. But do not forget that you weren’t the only one who lost someone. My brother Aegon was a babe when he was ripped from my mother’s breast and murdered. My sister Rhaenys was a child when she was dragged from under my father’s bed and stabbed to death. My mother was raped and murdered by a man that my father had knighted. You may have lost a grandfather, uncle and aunt. But I lost everything. My father was a monster, but you know all about those, don’t you?”

There was only silence now, where there was once heckles and anger. Helaena stood proud, her back straight and sharp just as her Uncle had shown her. None of the Stark’s said anything, but she was not finished. Daenerys wanted to pull her away, there was so much pain in her niece, some that she had never expressed.

“I can’t do anything about the past, I have no control over it. But I do have this, your Aunt was a victim of a man that ruined not only his life but mine. Your Aunt should have been left to live the life she wanted, not rotting away in a tower so far away from home. My mother tried to warn her, but Lyanna Stark thought she was safe, hidden away in the North from the wandering eyes of a monster. But monsters have many ways of getting into things they shouldn’t. The greatest thing the Gods have given me was his death. And I hope it hurt, that he struggled to draw breath and choked on his own blood. I hope my mother’s ghost and that of your Aunt, haunts him in the afterlife.” 

With that said, Helaena turned and walked away. She was followed by her Aunt and Uncle, both of whom looked concerned for the young woman walking ahead of them, her strides long and proud, filled with purpose. Viserys had opted to say nothing to his niece, Daenerys wanted to say something though. When they were safe in her chambers, sat down and calm.

“Is that how you truly feel?”

“About?”

“Your father? Rhaegar was a kind man and he did wrong by your mother, but he was good.”

Daenerys flinched at the look in her niece’s eyes, cold, “What kind and good and kind man, leaves his family to die brutally? What kind of good man steals a child away from her home and leaves her to die in a tower? You can think what you want about him, Aunt, but do not expect me to feel the same.”

Daenerys would have said more, had Viserys not placed a hand on her shoulder to silence her. She had always loved stories of Rhaegar, but she had not known him, not really. Viserys did, his stories would sometimes be filled with laughter and good memories. But other times he would rage in the night from the loss of his niece and nephew and his Good-Sister Elia. Neither Helaena nor Daenerys had known them, but he did. He was haunted by dreams of their deaths, how much pain they must have been in and the fear. Viserys had always held a special place in his heart for Helaena, imagining her to be all the good from Elia and whatever was left of the brother he sometimes forgot, the good parts of Rhaegar had left when he discovered those damned prophecies. 

Viserys was not a man of religion, but he had prayed day and night for Rhaenys and Aegon to appear like she had, to see them once again. But those prayers were not answered, they never appeared and he was left to his broken heart once again. 

Dany would take the Throne and it would be a peaceful rule, let it not be said that Daenerys Targeryen was not a benevolent ruler. She allowed the North their freedom, but had demanded Jon Snow return to his post on the Wall. There had been some outrage from the Northerners, but Daenerys had said nothing, only turned her back and had her own little birds to keep an eye on the remaining Starks. She never married, but Helaena had given birth five years into her rule, to a violet eyed son and Daenerys said nothing when she saw the smile on her brother’s face or the look of contentment. It had been with great sadness that they had left their child in King’s Landing, who would, for many years not know that Daenerys was not his mother. Daenerys, Viserys and Helaena had all passed by the time he found out, it had been a shock to find out.

Viserys and Helaena would retire to Dragonstone once Daenerys had fully settled into herself, they would go on to have more than six children. They lived the rest of their lives watching their children lead successful and happy lives, Viserys in his age had begun to lose himself to memories of the past. He would speak of his mother wandering the halls, he would make mention of seeing a little dark-skinned girl giggling as she ran through the halls. The distant sound of a baby crying and the sound of Dornish lullabies echoing in the halls. Sometimes he swore he could hear his brother's voice as well, haunting the halls calling for his children, Helaena had mentioned perhaps her mother was making her father repent, taunting him in the afterlife. Helaena had done nothing but listen to him as the years went on, never telling him it wasn't real. Because to him, it was.   


All three had been buried together in King's Landing.

Three imposing statues of them at the entrance of their tombs.


	8. Rage.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She snapped.

His dirty, grasping hands gripping onto the bottom if her once stunning red dress. Grasping and trying hard to get her to stop. His voice was hoarse and gritty as hw called her name pleading for something from her. Even just a bit if her attention.

" _Please, Helaena. Please I'm your father."_

The last thing he saw, was the ice cold violet of her eyes, the blood dripping from her sword and those same cold eyes, filled with disgust for the once proud King that now cowering on the floor like a peasant.

" _You're a fool, to think I ever considered you my father."_


	9. Lyanna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just thought I'd do a little one for Book!Lyanna. A child.   
> Rhaegar is still a cock.

All she could feel was pain.

Pain that she had never known a woman could experience ( _a girl child)._ Lyanna wanted her mother's comfort, the gentle feel of her cold hands as she reassured Lyanna that everything would be okay.

She tried to stop her mind from wandering back to the sad Princess of Dorne. _He_ had promised that everything would be okay, that his wife had known and she would be welcomed with open arms. 

Lyanna was not stupid.

She saw the pain and humiliation, as a dark faced turned ashen. She had wanted to call out and plead with the old woman that she didn't know. _He_ had lied. Lied to her and his wife.

She had been promised freedom. _Just give me a daughter and you'll be free._ But it was all a lie. There was nothing but pain and blood, so much blood that she knew. Lyanna Stark was fated to follow her mother in dying while bringing a child into the World.

She wished she had turned around.

Her heart jumped when she felt a hand touch her face, a warm hand. Unfamiliar. 

Frightened, she opened her eyes and saw violet eyes in a dark face staring down at her, the stranger looked sad with a downturned mouth. The hand stroked her drenched face, pushing the dark hair away from a deathly pale face.

_"It's okay."_

Lyanna would never be able to explain why she felt so relieved in that moment. Tears burned behind her closed eyes as she wailed, the stranger's hand never stopped it's caressing. She knew this face. So like _His_ and so much like the Princess of Dorne. 

They had sent her to torment her. Lyanna knew.

She was going to die in this strange country that woshed her dead, so very far away from her home of snow and ice. Away from her father and his distant, yet loving eyes. From her brothers and their overwhelming protection. 

Lyanna was just a child, one that had learnt too much of the world, a dark world. So far away from the one she had been destined for. 

" _It's okay, you can let go now."_

That sounded so nice.

Just to let go and forget all about this pain. She could hear the voices outside, echoing through the empty tower. Her brother's voice. Lyanna wasn't sure if she could hold on long enough to speak with him, to see him one last time. 

The thought of his disappointment, was enough to make her cry out once more. The child had long left her body, as dead as its mother would soon be.

Lyanna didn't have it in her to care.

This was a child she wished dead as soon as news of her family had come. _He_ had forced her back into the tower once she had finally gotten loose. She _hated_ him. More than she hated anything else in the world. 

" _Come with me Lyanna, it won't hurt anymore."_

"Promise?"

_"I promise."_

Lyanna took the hand offered to her gladly, the pain had disappeared and she felt so light. An arm wrapped around her shoulder and pulled her close, breathy whispers of a paradise waiting for her, just beyond the llight. A promise of a father and brother waiting patiently for their missing piece. 

"You'll stay with me?"

A kind smile on a beautiful face was her only answer. It was enough. The pain was gone, only a distant memory now. Just like the child that lay dead beside its mother, ignorant to the pain that was left behind as her brother cried over their bodied. 

Her heart had almost stopped at the sight laid out in front of them.

Her pack, sitting in a circle with more familiar faces. Two children danced around and Lyanna could have screamed at the sight of them.

Why were they here?

They should have been safe with their mother.

Why were they welcoming her as though she deserved to be there with them? Her brother with an arm around her, father with that smile on his face.

Her.

Her with those beautiful eyes and colourful dresses.

Her, with a kind smile and a hand held out. Lyanna could not stop herself from kneeling in front of her, sobbed apologies falling from her mouth. She refused to let her brother bring her back up. 

It was not his forgiveness that she sought.

A hand was placed on her bowed head. Warm and kind, as it stoked though her dark curls.

" _He will join us soon and he can face the rage he left in his wake_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick one done while high on pain kollers hahaha.
> 
> RHAEGAR IS SHIT.  
> I still dislike Lyanna, but book version does get me kind sad tho.  
> Also the stranger is Helaena.


	10. LAYOUT FOR NEW AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The layout for the fanfic chapter I'm writing (probably a one-shot) where Elia escaped while pregnant after finding out Rhaegar won the war, not wanting to start a war, Elia made the difficult decision to fake her death and leave Rhaenys and Aegon in King's Landing. 
> 
> So you can see what they look like. I've kind of aged the children up (if that's okay) while still referring to them as children, LOL like Rhaegar would ever accept his children are no adults hahaha.
> 
> Let me know if you're excited.
> 
> ALSO, JUST BECAUSE I WROTE A NICE FANFIC ABOUT RHAEGAR AND ELIA BEING HAPPY. DOESN'T MEAN THAT I LIKE HIM, HE AND LYANNA (tv version) ARE BOTH DISGUSTING AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF WHAT THEY DID.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So someone asked me to write a lovely R&E fanfic and even though I spit on Rhaegar and hate him. I'm kind of soft for a sweet once where they get a happy ending and I've decided to portray Lyanna like all of her delusion fans like a portray Elia :) also going in the opposite direction they all seem to and I've made Jon, Aegon, and Rhaenys friends! instead of playing them off of each other because jOn Is ThE tRuE hEiR (lololo)


	11. The Dragon Prince and the Sun Princess.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where Elia ran away, while pregnant, and hid away in Dorne.
> 
> Rhaegar annuls his marriage to Lyanna some years later, he and his children travel to Dorne, and Rhaegar is thrown into the deep end of finding out what really happened to his wife. 
> 
> Helaena's name in this AU is Visenya, as like Elia's way of saying fuck you to Rhaegar. 
> 
> ALSO STILL HATE HIM, but i do be soft for some good E&R fics.

Rhaegar found himself in the same place he always was, when memories would resurface and things became too much. Locked away in chambers that had been locked for everyone except for him, and even now the guilt ate away at him. He could not keep losing himself in the could have been of a life he had thrown away. His daughter could hardly look at him, and his eldest son found more joy in chasing after his Uncle and Aunt than he did spending time with his father. Jon was the child he spent most of his time with and even then, they could hardly enjoy time alone without his wife throwing herself into the situation. Though he noticed that his eldest children seemed to join in when they noticed how uncomfortable his wife became at their presence. 

He knew why his wife hated his children. They reminded her of everything she couldn’t have and how isolated she was. There was no love for a Northern wolf in a family filled with dragons. His mother would always comment on Lyanna's lack of experience in handling the things that had come so easily to Elia. Mother loved to bring his deceased wife into every argument they had that involved Lyanna, how lazy and dismissive she was of her duties and how mother was becoming too old to clean up her messes. Lyanna hated his mother, but she despised Rhaenys with every fibre of her being. They had never been able to have any more children after Jon, the loss of so many children born and those lost before they took their first breath had been a blow to his wife, but as the days passed he found himself caring less and less. Wishing for a simpler time when he and Elia shared their lives happily on Dragonstone, away from the angry gaze and rumours. 

Rhaenys was the spitting image of her mother. The hair and skin, the only thing he had given his daughter was violet eyes and a love of music. Her humour, the way she dressed and spoke was all Elia. Sometimes he found it difficult to be around her. There were many days that even Rhaenys seemed to forget the mistakes he had made and would walk through the gardens with his hand in hand, those were his favourite days. Before they would run into Jon or Lyanna and those happy times would go as quickly as they had come. Jon had always been remorseful to his brother and sister, sharing a bond with both of them. But even Rhaegar could see the venom his wife would spew when his daughter stood beside him, he had only heard through the gossip of her words against Elia. 

He still loved Elia.

It was the reason his marriage was never a good one.

He found himself comparing the two women more and more. Lyanna was too wild and too loud, quick to anger and spew hateful words, even against her own family. But Elia had been so calm, even when faced with anger and prejudice from both Nobles and Commoners alike. She had held her head high and moved through the world with no guilt, a true Queen in the making. Yet, Elia would never wear a crown.

He brought an old scarf up to his nose once again, trying to smell the long-gone scent of her. Her old chambers were the same as they were the day he had left, her jewellery still on the vanity, dresses hanging up in the wardrobe. He hoped they would find themselves in Rhaenys’ hands when she was grown. The chambers looked as though Elia would come dancing into the room with her bright smile and happy voice. 

But that was a fool's dream.

Elia was gone. Dead and buried, never to see the light of day again nor see her children grow and rule over this land. He would never grow old with her by his side, forever separated by death. Her body had been sent back to Dorne, even in death they would never lay side by side, her brothers would never allow it. It was a punishment he deserved because it was him that had caused Elia’s murder. Had he been a better man, he might have been able to save his wife from the wrath of his father. 

But he had been a coward, he had not paid the price for his mistakes. He had left his family to suffer the consequences. 

When Rhaenys had come to him, in the dead of night with dark bruises covering her neck and face, he knew he couldn’t sit back and do nothing. His wife had gone too far, for too long her jealousy had darkened her mind and now, she had hurt his daughter. He could remember that night well, when he had stormed from his chambers towards the chambers his wife slept in, his daughter and sons following closely behind him. Both his sons had been shocked, when Rhaenys had told them Lyanna had tried to strangle her, it had been unprovoked on her end. Rhaegar had felt the anger rising inside of him, one he had never felt before and not even his own mother could have stopped him from the argument that came next.

Their voices had echoed out into the halls, turning heads of servants and guards alike. He had allowed Lyanna to throw her weight around for years, allowed her to abuse and discredit his children because he thought she would learn. That she was young and didn’t understand, but now? She was a grown woman and knew better. 

“I have had enough! How dare you lay hands on my daughter!?”

“I did nothing wrong, she came here and was running her filth mouth like she always does! How can you take her side!? I am your wife!”

“What excuse can you give, for wrapping your hands around a child’s throat and trying to kill her! What is the matter with you! You have gone too far this time, I have sat back and allowed you to do whatever you wished to do, but no more. Rhaenys is my daughter, I will not allow you to disrespect her again. Do I make myself clear?”

“This is because of her, isn’t it? About your filthy whore of a Dornish wife! Rhaenys probably isn’t even your daughter! Elia probably spread her legs for any man that came around!”

“Shut up.”

“Excuse me?”

“Lyanna, you first harm my daughter and now you insinuate and insult the memory of my first wife? How dare you stand there and speak of her like that, when you did the same thing for me? Do not forget that you would be married to Robert Baratheon had you not begged me for help. Elia was the love of my wife, and how dare you insult her.”

“Love of your life! How can you stand there and say that while I’m here and still alive! I gave you a healthy son and-”

“And nothing more. Where is the daughter you promised would come from our union? You told me the Old Gods had spoken to you and it was you, Winterfell’s Daughter, that would bring Visenya into this world. Yet here you stand, with one living child and nothing else to show. Elia did her duty and more, giving me a son and a daughter.”

“Rhaegar-”

“No, nothing you can say now Lyanna, will make up for what you’ve done. I will have a letter sent North to your brother, you will return to the North and spend the rest of your days there. Thinking about what you’ve done, what you’ve said and you will do this alone.”

“You can’t take Jon from me!”

“Why not? He will grow fine without your influence, his brother and sister will guide him better than you ever could. The maids will pack your belongings.”

Rhaegar ignored her cries for him to come back, barely paying attention when he saw Rhaenys and Aegon hiding smiles at the downfall of the woman that had broken their family apart. He had no more energy to deal with any of it tonight, not with her shrieks of anger still ringing loudly in his ears as though Lyanna was still standing right beside him. How could he not have seen how cruel she truly was? Had he seen so deep in his searching that he had ignored his own children’s cries for his help?

Elia would be ashamed of him.

He barely felt anything as he wrote his letter, knowing the broody Warden he would be less than pleased to see a letter from the King, even more so when he read the contents. Ned Stark had made his feelings about his sister more than clear when they had returned from Dorne. Rhaegar had seen first hand the anger of a Northern man, he had disowned Lyanna and yelled at her more than he thought she had even been yelled at. Ned had driven the final nail in Lyanna’s coffin by condemning her for the murders of their father, brother and even Elia. The Dornish princess would not have died, had Lyanna sent their father and brother South, sending wolves into the dragon’s den. 

Even when the letter was flying off, he felt no guilt. He could barely spare memory for the wife he had thrown out. Rhaegar could barely lift a finger to care how Lyanna must be feeling, being thrown out of King’s Landing and sent back to a home that spat on her memory, wrote songs about her lock of honour and how they were ashamed that the Stark’s had bred such a daughter. Lyanna would have no warm welcome in the North. She would find herself an outcast and unwanted, even by her family.

Rhaegar had expected Jon to rush to his mother's defence, they had always been so close. Brought on by the abandonment from her only living brother’s and she had no one to blame but herself. Jon loved his mother, but the bond he shared with Rhaenys and Aegon would eclipse any bond shared with his parents. Even when the sun rose and Lyanna was guided from the Keep, there were no common people lined up screaming of the injustice done to her. No, when Lyanna was led towards her carriage, there were nothing but loud cheers and chants for the Northern woman that they hated. Rhaegar thought he would give him the sight of his wife walking away, but he didn’t, because even if he had loved Lyanna. She was not Elia, never would be and never could be. No one in the Keep shed any tears for her, she was not well-liked by anyone and even less so by his own family, his siblings and mother gated her and his children? The only support Lyanna had was from her own son and even he had now shown his face as she left. He didn’t scold Rhaenys or Aegon for their hidden smirks as the jeers reached even their ears. Not even when Jon looked sadly out of the window at the retreating carriage disappearing further and further into the distance. When he was older, Rhaegar would allow him to see her.    
  
Which is why it was so surprising when the children found themselves bundled up and being escorted to a ship. They had heard nothing of a journey being planned, not even from their father and one they were bundled up on a large ship with strange people. It was Jon that ran to their father to ask him why if he was taking them North why would they need to travel by ship? Father had laughed and run his hand through Jon’s hair.

“We are not going North Jon,” he pointed towards the rising sun, “But to Dorne, I believe it is time for Rhaenys and Aegon to see their mother’s home.”   
  
Jon said nothing about not being able to go North and see his mother’s home because his mother was alive and he would see her once he was fully grown. A part of him truly missed being around his mother and seeing her every day, but even he was free to admit that something had lifted from everyone’s shoulders the day his mother had been thrown out. Rhaenys and Aegon seemed brighter now, even running through the halls laughing out loud and as joyfully as they could, because his mother was no longer coming from somewhere else telling them off. He had never understood her dislike for Aegon or Rhaenys, because they were both truly kind to him and they loved him, as much as he loved them. Maybe being in the North would be a good thing for mother, allow her to free her mind from the badness that had been growing.

He was excited too because Rhaenys and Aegon looked so very happy to be going on a trip to their mother’s home. He would be just as excited as them, had his mother not told him of how their mother’s family hated him for being born. Because of it, their mother had been killed. Mother had always warned him that if given the chance, their mother’s family would kill him and feel no guilt. He was ashamed to have believed her because his mother would never lie to him. But she had, he reminded himself, because he had never known about father’s first wife until he had heard mother and father arguing about her. He had run crying to Rhaenys, she was his older sister, she would not lie to him and Rhaenys didn’t. She was the first one to tell him the truth, he had been born outside of marriage, born from an affair and nothing like the stories mother told him. Rhaenys had held him and reassured Jon, that neither she nor Aegon held him accountable for anything that had happened. They were family and must look out for one another. 

It took an age for them to get to Dorne. Rhaegar hid a smile behind his fist when his children all but threw themselves onto the dry land in joy. Not all children were born to travel the sea with such ease, especially not his. He was very surprised, to see it was Elia’s younger brother that had come to meet him, standing at his side were two young women, maybe his daughters? They looked alike, all dark hair and sly eyes. 

“Uncle!”

Rhaenys and Aegon had rushed towards their Uncle with bright smiles, laughing when he caught them in his arms and swung them around. Rhaegar pushed the envy down, he had no right to feel that way, not when he stood in Elia’s home. She would have loved to come here, Elia had thrived in her home country and told him that the sun made her feel more alive than anything else in the world.

“Your Majesty.”

“Prince Oberyn, how are you?”

Rhaegar saw a sly smile form on the other man’s face, before he leaned in closely, “Better than you are, from what we’ve heard. Finally, get rid of that frozen whore?” Rhaegar didn’t answer, as Jon had come to stand behind him, hands twisted together and looking more nervous than Rhaegar could ever remember seeing.   
  
“This is Jon, my youngest.”

A strange looked past in the eyes of the two women standing behind Oberyn, Rhaegar tried not to pay any attention. 

“These are my eldest daughters, Obara and Nymeria.”

They exchanged greetings, before being taken by carriage towards Sandspear. Elia had grown up here, he found it even more difficult to think about her, what she might have been doing now. Had she been allowed to leave and come home, would she have come to greet all of them or just the children? Elia would be happy to see her children, grown and acting more and more like she did every day. Would she have laughed, when he told her about Lyanna? Probably, because she knew he was a fool before he knew himself.

“Doran wishes to speak with you, once we enter Sunspear. It is of most importance.”

Rhaegar couldn’t help feeling strange when he heard those words, he knew that a discussion with Doran would happen, it was inevitable. But for Oberyn to say it in such a way? It caused a shiver to run up his spine, his eyes instantly looking at his children, but Oberyn pulled his attention back.   
  
“Leave them to their fun, they are not children.”

“They are still children in their father’s eyes.”

A smile finally came to Oberyn’s face then, “Yes, pity we cannot keep them young and ignorant to the world.” Rhaegar found himself being ignored for the remainder of the trip, even by his children, who seemed more fascinated by their Dornish surroundings and family than they did with speaking to him, even Jon. He found himself pondering again, the landscape passed by quickly, sand, mountains and small villages. Everything Elia would have missed in the years she had been away in Westeros, he wondered how she would look now, sitting beside him and relishing in the world she had not seen in so long. It was warm, more than he was used too and he was amazed by his children’s resilience to the heat. They seemed to enjoy what Rhaegar would describe as overbearing heat, even Jon seemed to enjoy the heat and sat smiling and whispering to his siblings. Rhaegar hoped that his youngest would not be sat on the outside watching as Rhaenys and Aegon enjoyed their time in Dorne, though he knew that he personally was very much disliked by Elia’s family, there would be no need for Jon to get the same treatment. He had done no wrong, except being born. 

“Cheer up Dragon Prince, we’ll be there soon.”

Rhaegar didn’t know what to think of Oberyn’s second-born, she seemed less like her older sister Obara, who had given him nothing but heated glares and Rhaegar was sure that had Oberyn allowed it, she would have drawn her sword and tried to kill him. He did not have the best reputation among Elia’s nieces. He dreaded meeting Oberyn’s other daughters, especially Tyene, who he had heard was most proficient in poisons and was as deadly as her father. 

“You’ve gone pale Rhaegar.”

“I just seemed to remember something.”

He could see the glint in Oberyn’s eyes, maybe he was hoping his third-born would do something to him. She might poison him and kill him quickly, or maybe a slow-working poison that wouldn’t kill him until he was back in King’s Landing. Oberyn slapped him on the back, booming laughter breaking free from his once smirking face and catching the attention of everyone else.

“No need to worry Rhaegar, you shall leave Dorne alive.”

Oberyn said nothing more as they closed in on Sunspear. The castle loomed over the town and it had been many years since he had seen it, looking no different save for the odd new build. Elia had loved the castle of Sunspear, but her heart lay in the water gardens some ways off from where they currently were. He hoped to take the children there, where he had first met Elia and made a vow that would be broken soon after. 

Doran was sitting in his wheeled chair when they finally arrived, greeting the children warmly with a promise of food and children to play with, even Jon had been greeted warmly to Rhaegar’s surprise. But was not a surprise was the look of displeasure when Doran’s eyes finally found him, it was not unpleasant and so Rhaegar continued his greetings and small talk. Though he wished for nothing more than to lay down and pretend that Elia was waiting for him here, ready to come back with him. He would ask to visit her tomb later when the children were abed and he would hide the pain a little better.

“Come Rhaegar, we have much to discuss.”

He would have to wait for sleep, as he watched his children being led away along with the other children. Oberyn had kissed a woman before joining him behind Doran, the woman was Dornish and not the most beautiful woman he had seen, her eyes were pretty and dark. Her children must have been the ones to swarm Rhaenys and Aegon with wide eyes. They all shared their father's eyes.

Doran’s personal chambers were cooler than the air he breathed, he was pushed into a chair by Oberyn passing by with a smirk. This was something he had been used to, before, Oberyn had not been pleased when Elia married him and had made a nuisance of himself by pushing him around, some would have called it bullying, but Elia had always been able to calm her brother down and after a month or so, Oberyn stopped. It was almost nice, having the same dynamics but he was not being called before his old Good-Brother to playhouse.

“Tell me Rhaegar, are the rumours of you annulling your marriage to the Stark woman true?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, I would give my apology but they would mean nothing, and why, after so long have you finally removed her from your sight?”

“We disagreed and as you can see, this is where it had led me.”

“It must have been quite the disagreement.”

Rhaegar felt uncomfortable, there was a tension in the air, it made his heart quicken and he felt the sweat building upon his forehead. His hands shook as they lay in his lap, but there would be nothing worse than Doran or Oberyn noticing how uncomfortable he looked and was acting. 

“Just tell him, Doran, he’s bound to find out sooner than later. Though I would pay a pretty penny to see the look on his face if we don’t tell him and he stumbles upon it.”

Doran sighed, rubbing his forehead and Rhaegar was almost horrified to find his eyes staring straight into his own. There was a moment of silence, the sound of Oberyn tapping his finger against his glass was beginning to grate on him and he wanted nothing more than to turn around and tell him to stop.

“Elia is still alive.”

Rhaegar was sure the rest of Dorne could have blown up around him and nothing would have caused his heart to stop quicker than it did at that moment. It must have been some type of joke, to do something so cruel was beyond him. 

“You-”

“Rhaegar, think carefully about what you are about to say.”

He felt his body stand before he could stop himself, but the warm and threatening hand on his shoulder was enough to make himself sit back down. Oberyn kept his hand there, maybe because he thought Rhaegar was going to do something stupid or Doran might be gearing up to hit him himself. He just couldn’t understand, why, after all these years were they doing something so cruel.

“Rhaegar, listen closely to what I’m about to say. Tonight, while the Rhaenys, Aegon and Jon are sleeping, you will head to the Water Gardens and find Elia there, she wanted to come here herself but I persuaded her not to.”

“I don’t understand, why now?”

“Elia will tell you herself.”

Rhaegar knew that if he were to go there tonight and find out this was all a lie? Then he would kill both Doran and Oberyn, to pull something like this was in his opinion, insane. If he went there and Elia was not there, then he would rain fire and blood done on the Dornish Royal Family. Rhaegar reached behind him and pushed Oberyn away from him, before standing up and heading towards the doors.

  
“We will send someone to fetch you tonight.”

Rhaegar said nothing as he left them both behind, his head was reeling and he felt sick. Because if this was true, then Elia had been hiding from him for this long and said nothing, no letters or anything, to let him know she was okay. For years he was grieved and cried for the life he had lost with her and here she was, living with her family. Rhaenys and Aegon would be devastated when they find out, their mother had always been a sore point for them and to find out she was alive all this time? Rhaegar was scared for them, they were good and even he knew the anger that could come out at the drop of a hat. 

“Father?”

Jon was standing outside their rooms, looking as though he had been waiting for him to come back. Rhaegar found his energy almost completely gone when he saw Jon, if Elia was alive then people would begin to talk about Jon away. Lyanna had always spoken of putting her son on the throne, as she saw Aegon and Rhaenys as bastards and Jon the only true heir to the throne. There would be talks of rebellions and who knew what situation Lyanna would come up with if her family forgave her. When he stepped down or died, would she try and incite a rebellion to sit Jon on the throne? Rhaegar pushed those thoughts away, his youngest was nothing like that. He was soft, easily led by Lyanna, but Rhaegar doubted even Jon would be manipulated into turning against his own brother.

“Jon, you should be asleep.”

“I was worried when you didn’t come back.”

Rhaegar smiled and pulled Jon into an embrace, feeling his son’s hands grasp his shirt. Jon was everything that Lyanna should have been, while he regretted her, he would never regret Jon and he hoped, if Elia was alive, that she could accept his son.

“Come, I should check on Rhaenys and Aegon.”

“Okay.”

Rhaegar found the other two, sleeping on the largest bed and found himself staring. They looked so much like he and Elia did before everything had done up in smoke due to his one selfishness and stupidity. He could almost forget that anything of it had happened, and they had all come here as a true family. But now he knew what could be waiting for him, he found himself wanting to hide away from the son and daughter who had grown up in a lie. Rhaegar felt Jon hesitate by his side before he pushed those thoughts away. Tonight he could deal with it for one more night, before everything they knew came crashing down around them.   
  
“Go to sleep Jon, I’ll see you sometime in the morning. Tell Rhaenys and Aegon to wait for me to come back.”

He didn’t wait for an answer, disappearing behind the doors to another room before falling to the ground. His chest heaved and his head felt strange all this time and she might actually be alive. Running and hiding from him because of everything he had done, it was what he deserved. Rhaegar was horrified to find himself crying, though he was alone he couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched, eyes glaring into him. But he couldn’t stop the tears from falling, or the sounds from coming out his mouth, what if Rhaenys and Aegon woke up to the sound? He was already aware that Jon might hear him, but he couldn’t stop, finding himself turning into a child. Feeling lost and alone.

The tears carried on into the early morning, though he had moved from the floor and curled up on the covers of the bed. He was finally pulled from the dark thoughts floating around in his head when a quiet knock sounded on his door. Oberyn was the one standing on the other side, wearing a cloak and hiding his face, Rhaegar barely had the energy to follow him from the room, out into the corridor and through seemingly endless halls. 

Rhaegar was glad to hear nothing of his swollen eyes from Oberyn, who once would have relished in seeing the proud prince looking less than princely. But he was kind enough to keep his mouth shut for once. He was jostled into a carriage with the warning of not being seen by anyone else, they would not be pleased to see him.

“Be kind to her, once she explains. You’ll understand.”

It felt like a dream, as though he would wake up any minute and none of this was even happening. What would he do, if it all turned out to be some kind of elaborate joke and nothing was waiting for him in the Water Gardens? Rhaegar didn’t think that he would have the energy to even be angry, because it was something he had been doing to himself for a long time. Losing himself in dreams of a different life, with Elia be his side and his children growing with her. He pushed his hair away from his face, looking out of the window at the landscape, the closer they were getting to the Water Gardens, the more lush green trees there were. They were the same trees that had been there, the last time he had come here with Elia before they were married and sent away to Dragonstone. He had never appreciated the beauty of this place until he came back, but this time he had come back alone and filled with a sense of dread. He wasn’t sure, how he would react if Elia was truly waiting there for him, would be happy or would years of pain and anger come all at once and push them even further away than they were? Or would he allow a flood of tears to come and show Elia how truly sorry and distraught he was over her supposed death? Elia has been buried in Dorne, or so he had thought. 

His heartbeat quicker when the gates appeared, he could make out the sight of the smaller palace just beyond. It almost seemed to sparkle in the sunlight, homely and comfortable Elia had always said. She had grown here, under the watchful eyes of her father and was soon joined by a younger brother. Elia’s mother had been busy ruling Dorne, they were close, but Rhaegar knew his wife had loved her father more greatly. He had once hoped to have the same love with Rhaenys and any child that followed, but he had burned those bridges and though he knew that his children loved him, it was not how it should have been. 

There was a small cluster of people waiting when the carriage came to a stop, he didn’t think it was necessary and they looked less pleased when he finally came out. He was disliked even in the furthest parts of Dorne, by people who wouldn’t even recognise him, if he walked past them and mingled with them. 

“Your Majesty, please come this way.”

Instead of being led to a room, he was being led through familiar halls. He realised quickly that they were heading outside into the larger gardens, where the deeper pools were. Rhaegar had only come to this part of the gardens when Elia wished to walk alone with him, out of view and mind of the nosey people of his father’s court. He had loved walking through the thick bushes, flowers and trees, where the pool was so inviting. 

He was left alone to walk through the alcove. 

Rhaegar felt his heart stop at the sight of a figure sitting on the edge of the pool, yellow dress standing out against the green and the thick dark hair pushed to one side. His knees were weak as he struggled towards her, she must have known he was there and yet she kept looking ahead of her.    
  
“Elia?”

She tilted her head back to look at him, and he could have screamed and cried. Elia was staring straight at him, honey brown eyes alight with mischief. She looked the same as she had all those years ago, as though the passing of time had left not a mark on her. She gestured for him to come and sit beside her and yet, he couldn’t find it within himself to follow her order. If he sat down, then it was all true and she had been here, happy and healthy all these years while he and their children had suffered and mourned. 

“Rhaegar, you look pale.”

Elia pushed herself up and he found himself taking a step back, away from her though for years he had wished for nothing more than this moment. He found himself falling back against the tree, all the while she kept walking towards him and he wondered if she was even really here, that he might be hallucinating. 

“Y-you’re alive.”

“As you are.”

She looked amused and had this been any other day Rhaegar would have shared that amusement and shared jokes with her. But how could he, when he had believed her to be dead this entire time. Finally, Elia came to a stop in front of him, the same height as she had been the last time they had seen each other. Looking so very similar and welcoming, he wanted nothing more than to fall into her arms and cry, so when Elia opened her arms to him. He did just that, letting her catch him and hold him as he cried, frightened he might hurt her, he tried to move but she only pulled him closer. 

Rhaegar must have cried for hours because the sun was low in the sky by the time he pulled away from a dead woman’s arms. Elia looked content, as his head lay in her lap and her hands running through his hair. She smiled down at him, straight teeth and dark lips, and still so beautiful. As beautiful as the first time he had seen her and the last.

“I am sorry, Rhaegar, for doing this to you. But you have to understand-”

“You shouldn’t have to say sorry Elia, was it not my own stupidity and arrogance that made you do this? Had I not been so selfish and drawn into stories, you would never have had to run away from your children, or from me.”

“You are far too kind and forgiving Rhaegar.”

They might have stayed there for hours, had a young woman not been calling out for her mother. Rhaegar found it odd because only he and Elia were here and yet, he could feel the way Elia stiffened and flinched at the consistent yelling.

“There is something else I must tell you.”

“Elia?”

No more words were exchanged when a light-haired young woman came rushing from one of the many paths that led this way. The woman came to a dead stop at the sight of them sitting under the tree, glancing between them before trying to speak to Elia.

“Rhaegar, this is Enya.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“Enya is your daughter.”

Elia might as well have thrown the young woman at him and introduced them. Nothing would have prepared him for the words coming out of Elia’s mouth, first, he had just found his wife and then? Then he was being told that he had another child that had been hidden from him, by the same wife that had hidden herself away. The young woman seemed so very uncomfortable at the mere sight of him  


“Mother?”

“Enya, darling come and meet your father.”

Rhaegar found himself quite exposed lying with his head in Elia’s lap, while the young woman inched closer looking quite put out by the entire thing and Rhaegar sympathised with her because he had truly not felt this uncomfortable for a very long time. He pushed himself up from Elia’s lap, mind reeling and trying to come up with some explanation. 

“Mother, why is he here?”

“Enya, what an attitude you have.”

He hid a smile behind his hand, mind still working in overdrive at the revelation. Not only had Elia been alive these years, where he had never thought to look for her, all these years thinking that she had left this world behind, and now, Elia had hidden a daughter from him. Should he be angry, enraged at all of this deceit and hiding? Or could he, the man who had caused it all, overlook it and move on? He wasn’t sure, but Rhaegar knew he would have to try. Because Elia, even after all these years, held his heart in a steel box and he had no plans to try and get it back. 

It was almost like nothing had changed, as they sat together under the trees. Elia was still witty and full of humour, but his daughter, this girl was everything he imagined his Visenya to be. A beautiful mixture of both he and Elia, her face was all Elia and Rhaenys, while her eyes were his and Aegon’s. A beautiful, intelligent daughter that anyone would be proud of and he felt this pain he had been holding in for so many years but slowly disappearing and fading away. Visenya, or Enya as he preferred to be known, seemed to have no issue sitting and laughing with the father that she had never known, maybe heard stories about him from his wife and her brothers, but he doubted they would be all good stories. 

“Rhaenys and Aegon will want to know you’re alive Elia, you don’t intend to stay here without seeing them?”

A strange look came across Elia’s face, he knew why of course and he took Elia’s hand in his own and held it tight. It would be difficult for them, but he knew they would forgive her because they had forgiven him after everything. They would forgive the mother that had made a difficult decision and still loved her, even though they remembered very little about their mother. Jon would be overjoyed, no longer being the youngest. 

“Your wife will not enjoy us coming back Rhaegar.”

Rhaegar felt stupid, in the hours he had spent with Elia, he had mentioned nothing about Lyanna or Jon. Coughing he looked between his wife and daughter, “Lyanna is no longer an issue Elia, there were many unforgivable things she had done over the years and I had to protect my children.” It was difficult for him to admit this out loud and prove that he had been a stupid man. But Elia only looked concerned and Enya looked amused. 

“So the rumours were true? I heard in the marketplace that the Dragon Prince had thrown his false wife out of the Red Keep with nothing but the clothes on her back.” 

“They are correct.”

“How amusing.”

Elia scolded their daughter for what seemed to be her lack of compassion, though Rhaegar could see the relief hidden in her eyes. He knew Lyanna would always be something that kept them apart and knew, he needed to tell her about Jon. But it seemed Enya had heard all about him as well.

“I also heard her own son refused to see her off, how awful a mother she must have been when her own blood seemed pleased to see the back of her.”

“You have another son?”

Rhaegar nodded his head, watching Elia’s face light up with curiosity and smiled, because just as he knew, Elia would never hold a woman’s child in the same light. Jon was everything that Lyanna would never be, kind and compassionate. A part of him did wonder how she was doing, locked away in the frozen North with no one on her side, Ned had sent a letter confirming her arrival and little else. But he couldn’t ask about her, because he knew how Rhaenys and Aegon would react, betrayal shining in their eyes and words filled with fire spilling from their mouths. He had left Lyanna to her fate, there was nothing more he could do for a woman filled with nothing.    
  
“Jon is kind. They are very close, growing up they would always bring him along and play with him. They were compassionate children and even more so as adults.”

"I can't forgive you for what you did Rhaegar, but my heart rules over my head and I still love you. Perhaps distance has made the heart fonder than it was before. Had you told me Lyanna Stark was still involved, I would have turned you away Rhaegar."

What would he have done, if he came all this way and went back empty-handed? Would he have even told Rhaenys and Aegon their mother was alive but not coming back because of something he had done? They had grown all these years thinking their mother was dead, how could he keep it away from them? He knew he would have told them, regardless because they were owed this. Rhaenys and Aegon deserved to know their mother was alive and had not kept herself hidden because she didn't love them. The love Elia felt for her children shone in her eyes, lighting those honey-brown eyes beautifully. 

“Are you coming back with me? To Sunspear?”

“Of course, we both will.”

Enya had rushed off in joy, promising to pack quickly. Elia had tried to calm the young woman down, but she seemed to share Aegon’s joy in life and had all but disappeared by the time Elia had stood up. He had waved with a laugh, it was a nice life here it seemed, where Enya had been able to grow up without the constant voices in her ears whispering about Aegon and Rhaenys, as it would have been in King’s Landing. She seemed to have grown up very well without them, though it should have hurt, something deep in his heart told him that Enya would not be the woman she was currently, had she been raised in the Red Keep. Elia had given birth to an extraordinary child and he was so happy, how complete their family would be once they were all back together.  


Even when they had all they had to do, he still found it difficult to comprehend that Elia was truly sitting in front of him. Breathing and smiling as she usually had, but there was still a part of him that couldn't believe it. He could almost see the smirk on Oberyn's face when they arrived, he would be his usual smug self and Doran would be smiling and chatting as though this were a normal occurrence. Rhaenys and Aegon would be upset at first, as expected, but the pull of their mother coming back to them would be enough for them to welcome both Elia and Enay with open arms.  
  
He couldn't say how Jon would react, Lyanna had told him many different stories about Elia and Rhaegar wouldn't be surprised if Jon acted out. He was young and needed guidance from a woman that could lead him down the right path and Rhaegar was so sure, that Elia could help his son in this. Elia could be the mother figure that Jon deserved, he deserved to be loved and praised with more than just what he himself could give to the boy. When he was older he would allow him to travel North to see his mother, if Lyanna was even still there. He had heard nothing for months and expected something might be waiting for him when he returned. Jon would struggle, but in the end, it would all be worth it.  


E verything he had dreamed of had come true.

Three beautiful children and a beautiful wife.

It was almost comical to think about this fairytale and how it had panned out. His hands were shaking, much to his embarrassment and it was not something that had done unseen by the other occupants of the carriage. Both his wife and daughter looked almost delighted at his state. He leant his head back and let the rest of the journey pass him by, he was his nervous and he almost felt nauseous, Rhaegar wanted nothing more than for this to all come together and he will grow old and grey with Elia by his side, live long enough to see his children marry and have children of their own, to keep the memories of what he had done alive and what he had lost because of it. Rhaegar never wanted to left what he had done disappear into myths because there was nothing to show for it, let the future House Stark know what a daughter of their house had done and let his future descendants know what he had done, how he had forsaken his vows and it led to war. How he had almost brought his own house down so that they became nothing but legends wrapped in stories.

Elia would be forgiven by everyone because she had been the scorned wife and mother, forced from her home and her children. Because of him, his children had taken a long time to forgive him and it was only when Lyanna was gone that Rhaenys had smiled and laughed with him as he had dreamed of. It was only because of that, that Aegon came to him and decided to begin his training as Crown Prince and Jon, Jon had come to him asking to be Aegon's Sworn Sword. An honourable path for someone like Jon, who disliked the thought of being a King or a Lord, owning a castle and having a wife, fathering children. He could not say what Enya would do in the future, maybe she would return to Dorne and have children there, the unknown daughter of a Targaryen King. He would pay a pretty price to see Lyanna's face when news broke of Elia and Enya, how their marriage, as Elia was still alive, had not been valid and Jon truly, did not have a claim as a bastard. He knew she would be angry, rage and scream and cry, because she had spent such a long time trying to get people to love her and they didn't, Ned Stark had turned his back on his own sister and now Rhaegar had done the same. He cared for her still, but what he thought was love, wasn't. Because when he looked at Elia, he knew in his heart that this was true love when his heart skipped a beat and he began to sweat.   
  
No, Rhaegar had made many mistakes in his life.  
  
But coming here and finding Elia?  
It was fate, the Gods had heard his prayers and rewarded him.

They would hear, later on, how Lyanna Stark had raged and screamed that Elia was not real and had come back as a ghost and how Enya was no Rhaegar's daughter because she was supposed to give him a third child. But it was no surprise to anyone when she ended her own life with venom spilling from her mouth. But Rhaegar had shed no tears from the news, only sent a prayer and carried on. Jon had the same reaction, he didn't recognise _that woman_ as his mother any longer and Elia was more of a mother to him in the short time they met, than Lyanna ever had been.

Elia would spend the rest of her life surrounded by her children and grandchildren, all would speak of her kindness in forgiving her wandering husband, but none would truly know what was going on between the King and Queen, with their secretive smiles and glances and whispered words. But songs were sung about the difficulties they had faced and how they had come out stronger for it. It was a most unconventional love story, but people loved the songs sun of the Dragon Prince and his Sun Princess. 

Maybe it was no the fairytale his children had hoped to hear or even his grandchildren. But it was his and Elia's story, one of pain, abandonment and sadness. They have been torn apart by his own doing but they had come back together with his own doing. It was not the love story of the decade and would not be for many, many years when both Rhaegar and Elia were long dead, buried together. Not when Aegon and Rhaenys died, nor Jon and Enya, but one told by their great-great-great-great grandchildren, who would whisper a story of a love so strong, that not even a faked-death could keep them apart.

No, it was not perfect, but they fought and triumphed together in the years that came and went. 


	12. Lyanna.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crazy and Delusion Lyanna comes in to play.  
> I mean like, she's super lost in her own head and it shows.  
> She crazy.

Lyanna had thought everything was going exactly how she wanted it to, now only had her silver Prince chosen her but they had a child together. A beautiful, dark-haired and grey-eyed boy that Lyanna knew would be a perfect King when he grew up. There was only one huge obstacle in the way of what she wanted, in the form of a Dornish whore and two half-breed children and Lyanna knew there was only so much she could do to get rid of her.   
  
Rhaegar was perfect for her, with his beautiful long silver hair, violet eyes and physical strength. His voice was like soothing water on a hot day, or a warm blanket when the wind was bitter cold. He was the perfect man for her and the only thing keeping them from marrying one another was his stupid Dornish wife. If only she had died when she was supposed to and that bastard Prince with her and then a little accident could get rid of that daughter in no time.

She hadn’t expected the Dornish woman to be dead when they came to King’s Landing, it was beautiful and perfect because now Lyanna would be Queen and her son would be the Heir. she had tried hard to hide her smile, but one look from the Dowager Queen had Lyanna shrinking behind her perfect Prince. It was perfect because the Dornish woman was dead and it wouldn’t be long before her children followed her, because Lyanna knew her brother would do anything to make her happy, even kill two children. Ned might be difficult to convince but a few tears would be enough to sway him, it had worked perfectly on Rhaegar when he had been about to send her North instead of bringing her here. Lyanna was going to be his wife, it was just a brilliant development when the Dornish woman had been killed before she had to do it herself.   
  
The Mad King was dead as well, meaning that Rhaegar would be King and she would be his Queen! It was all very exciting for her, Lyanna could picture herself dressed up in the beautiful gowns and the beautiful jewellery, she even hoped to wear the Crown the Dornish woman had worn, because it wasn’t like she was going to wear it again.

She had thought Rhaegar would take her straight to the Crown Princess’s chambers but was instead shown rooms that guests stayed in, and she was been kind and said nothing. But he had refused to have Jon in with his half-breed children, and she had been furious. If any child should be in her Royal Nursery, then it was her son! But again, she waited for Rhaegar to bring it up, to act demure and honoured when those chambers were her’s by right. The door to those chambers had been kept locked until Lyanna had convinced Jon Connington to open them, telling him that Rhaegar had allowed it but hadn’t found the time to tell him. She hadn’t seen the Lannister boy running off to ask the King himself.   
  
The chambers were beautiful, decked out in oranges and reds, the smell of fruits and perfume hung in the air. She twirled around the room in glee, it was going to look lovely once she was rid of those awful Dornish colours and the room could instead have blues and greys. She giggled to herself as she fingered through the jewellery boxes on the vanity, through the wardrobes filled with dresses. It was a shame such a beautiful room was wasted on that awful Dornish woman, Lyanna was happy because there was no way that Rhaegar could deny her these rooms when they suited her so well! The room overlooked the best parts of King’s Landing and Lyanna would make sure everything that belonged to that woman was burned.    
  
Lyanna had expected Rhaegar to be so angry to find her in her chambers. He had yelled at her, ignored her tears and had her thrown from the chambers, she thought it was strange, that he hadn’t followed her out even though she was so upset and crying. But he would come to her tonight like he always did because he loved her and found her beautiful, it must have been so awful having to bed such a disgusting woman before and he was surprised by how much stronger she was.    
  
Lyanna found the chambers locked up the next day. Then the following day and then every single day for the rest of her marriage.

Jon had begun to grow into a beautiful little boy, with his dark curls and wide eyes, such beautiful pale skin, nothing like that Dornish looking girl Rhaegar called his Princess, with her unruly dark hair and violet eyes. Jon would make a wonderful King if only that Dornish woman hadn’t given Rhaegar one first. But like Lyanna said, his mother had been weak and only the Gods knew if he would make it, though Lyanna had prayed for his death more than once and nothing had happened. It the Gods didn’t take him then surely would take that little girl, when Lyanna gave Rhaegar a beautiful pale skinned Princess he would forget all about her.    
  
When Lyanna and Rhagegar had been crowned, there was nothing more beautiful than she sounds of cheering from the common people and it was all her for. The crown she wore wasn’t the one she had wanted, but Rhaegar had told her that the crown the Dornish woman had worn belonged to his daughter and she would not wear it. Her dress was so beautiful that Lyanna thought that people would think she was a goddess, and nothing was more beautiful than her. When Rhaegar had exited the carriage people were cheering for him, and Lyanna was expecting nothing less for herself. As she was his wife and the mother of the Crown Prince, but the cheers had died down once her food met the ground and there was nothing but silence from the large crowd.

Lyanna had tried sending letters to her brother, but they were always returned unopened. She knew her brother would never choose to do that and it had to be his awful Southern wife making him ignore her. It was what she told herself until Jon’s fifth name day came and Ned had come, but ignored her, as though she wasn’t even there. Lyanna had even cried and asked to speak with him, only to find herself on the backend of an awful conversation. Ned had told her she as no longer his sister! That what she had done was so awful and that he could never forgive her, that if Jon came North then he would tell her beautiful boy about everything she had done and how she had ruined the reputation of her House. 

Lyanna was never allowed near him after that, even when Ned was leaving she spared her nothing but a glance before leaving. Lyanna had been devastated and found little sympathy from anyone in Rhaegar’s family. As though they thought she deserved it, but Lyanna knew that Rhaegar loved her and their future children would be beautiful, just like him. But she knew that Rhaegar’s mother didn’t like her and truthfully, Lyanna wished that she had died with her husband, that the Gods be kind and take her other two children as well. Because Viserys didn’t like her and the daughter was the same age as Jon, which meant he didn’t get any attention from his Grandmother.    
  
Lyanna had said it one night when Rhaegar had been quite drunk and thought he would agree with her, why don’t they send them all to Dragonstone and the three of them could be a perfect family together. She had been surprised when he had sent her away and now spoken to her in days, but nothing that had been saying was even that bad! Lyanna to everyone else was like a child wanting attention and not being punished for the stupidity she said. The only thing Lyanna was truly desperate for, was more children, if she could only get pregnant and give birth to a daughter, then Rhaegar would stop hiding himself away in that Dornish woman’s chambers, the same chambers that should be hers. But there were no signs of her being pregnant for a long time, she heard the rumours about her, how the ghosts of the Red Keep would keep her barren.    
  
There had been three stillborn children and even more miscarriages. Though Lyanna found Rhaegar didn’t care, seeming to indulge in the whims of his eldest children, leaving her alone to mourn. How could she, a healthy and beautiful woman, fail in something that, that Dornish woman could? How was it fair? The Dornish woman had been frail and on verge of death so many times and yet, she birthed two healthy children. It wasn’t fair. Every time Lyanna saw Rhaenys, there would be a rage that bubbled up inside of her, if only they weren’t around, then Rhaegar would spend more time with her, caring about their dead children. It wasn’t fair that they were alive and her children were dead.

There had been an altercation between the Queen and Lady Cersei Lannister, in which the Queen found herself drenched in red wine and humiliated and Rhaegar tried to do something until he found out that the Lannister woman was only defending the memory of his late wife. Lyanna had found herself ignored further by Rhaegar after that, though in her own words, she had only told the truth, that she doubted Princess Rhaenys was Rhaegar’s daughter because Arthur Dayne had the same eyes.    
  
When Jon was almost a boy grown, Lyanna has asked Rhaegar when he was going to announce him as the Crown Prince, because Aegon looked like he wanted nothing to do with the throne, spending more time writing poetry and singing than he did handling the sword and learning to ride. Her dreams had shattered when she was told that if Aegon was not going to be King, then Rhaenys would be Queen and Jon was the third in line. There had been a terrible argument that brought all three children to their father’s chambers, where Lyanna has been enraged to see the smirk on Rhaenys’ mouth. Rhaegar has sent her from his chambers and not spoken to her, the only person that cared about her was Jon. Her precious son, the only one out of Rhaegar’s children that deserved the throne, was supposed to be King.    
  
Lyanna found herself sitting in front of her vanity more and more every day, she was beginning to lose her beauty and it wouldn’t be long before there was nothing drawing people to her, though Lyanna thought herself to be the most beautiful woman in the Red Keep. Everyone else there knew that Lyanna was plain and the only striking thing about her was her eyes, everything else was plain and boring. Her daughter would have been beautiful, overtaking Rhaenys in Rhaegar’s heart as quickly as she had, they would have been the perfect family, and then she would have given him another daughter. Rhaenys and Aegon could disappear and Rhaegar wouldn’t have cared, because he had his perfect, beautiful family with her.   
  
But Lyanna would never carry another child, there was nothing to be done. Lyanna had raged and screamed, attacking anyone that came close enough, screaming about the unfairness of her lack of children, everyone knew it was because of the long-dead Princess of Dorne, haunting the halls of the Red Keep. It was this rage that had brought about her banishment because she had seen Rhaenys leaving the chambers that had been locked, carrying a lovely dress in red and something inside of her had snapped. Before she even knew it, she had thrown the young girl onto the floor, hands around her neck and she wanted the girl done, dead and buried with her whore of a mother. Rhaegar would be sad for a while, but he would get over it. Lyanna had never expected Rhaegar to drag her off of the girl, raging at her in turn and Lyanna had tried everything to bring him onto her side, but he couldn’t be swayed and there was nothing to be done.   
  
Then he told her she was going to be leaving.   
  
She had hoped he meant Rhaenys and that little bastard would be gone, forgotten and replaced by her own child soon enough, but she had been hoping too much because Rhaegar told her there was nothing be could do. He loved his daughter and what she had done, was unforgivable.    
  
“You must leave Lyanna, I will send you back North.”

“You can’t do this to me! I am your wife and the mother to the Crown Prince!”

“Lyanna, you have lost yourself in your delusions, Jon will never be King. Do you truly think the common people or the nobles would accept him? No, because you have caused such upset that they would sooner see him dead.”

“No, Jon has to be King! Aegon is a useless, ugly little thing! Your daughter turns more into her mother every day, whoring herself out! She’s probably not even your daughter!”

Everything that happened after was almost a blur to her, there had been nothing but the sound of her own breathing and her own thoughts in the hours that followed. Once he had tried to leave, but the guards had refused to move and even then she could see her son, her precious Jon just walking past as though he couldn’t hear her beginnings for help. As she paced back and forth, there were only the thoughts of what she hadn’t done, there was nothing she had done that warranted being locked away as though she were a criminal and not a Queen, the people would riot once they heard of her confinement. 

Yet none of that happened.

When she was pushed through the Red Keep, the sound of shouting was the only thing she could hear and in her delusion, she thought they were shouting in support and love for their Queen. But there had been rotten fruit and yells, Lyanna had to hide her face so they couldn’t see her tears. She had so much for them and they were so ungrateful and she hadn’t been ignorant of Rhaegar and his family watching her leave. Her precious boy hadn’t even come to say goodbye, to see her off or come with her. 

The guards spoke very little to her, and anything that they did say was something against her. They spoke of her family wanting nothing to do with her, how there was a possibility that she wouldn’t be allowed into Winterfell when they arrived, how Ned Stark wouldn’t risk the peace of the Northern people to keep her there. They were wrong though because she was Ned’s only sister and would come first in anything, that’s what she told herself as the days past by slowly and the weather grew colder. Lyanna had missed the North and they must have missed her too, Ned would welcome her home. He loved her, more than he loved his wife and children because she was his sister, and Winterfell was her home. 

The gates of Winterfell were wide open as they arrived, and she could see Ned standing with his family and waiting for her, she didn’t see the other carriage off to the side. Because it had never dawned on her, that Ned wouldn’t house her in Winterfell, this was her home and it was where she thought she would be staying.   
  
Lyanna had thrown her arms around Ned, ignorant to his lack of acknowledgement. The red-haired Southern woman that he had married greeted her and did little less, Lyanna was at least expecting to be shown to her old chambers. But her heart and dreams had been shattered when Ned had led to her an old carriage that was bound for another place.    
  
“What are you doing? Ned, this is my home.”

Ned only shook his head, a deep sigh coming from his mouth, “This had not been your home for a long time, not since the day you ran away with a married man with children. I will not risk the ire of the Northern people for you. I have a family of my own now.” Ned hadn’t even asked about Jon! How could he not ask about her beautiful, precious Prince? 

He ignored anything else she would have said before Winterfell was disappearing as quickly as it had come. Lyanna didn’t know where she was going, but she would write to Rhaegar, tell him this joke had gone on too long and if he didn’t reply, then she would write to Robert. He had always loved her and that couldn’t have changed much, he had gone to war for her once and he would do it again. Yes, even if Rhaegar was silly enough to send her away, and break her heart. Robert would be glad to hear from her, love didn’t just disappear even if they hadn’t seen each other in a long time.

The castle she had been brought to was lovely enough, warm and decorated. But Lyanna paid little attention to any of it, instead, she focused on writing, to Rhaegar and Robert. She altered between begging and ranting in her letter’s to her Beloved Prince, making sure to leave tear stains to let him know, just how much he had hurt her. Then her letters to Robert were filled with admiration, asking about him and letting him know she hadn’t forgotten about him and hoped he hadn’t forgotten about her. It was filled with declarations of love and hopes for a future together (if Rhaegar took back his order) and she just knew, he would listen.    
  
The days blended together as she waited for any letters to come back. Nothing from either of the men had arrived, but she wasn’t worried, because they loved her and were probably writing back long letters letting her know they loved her. Rhaegar would beg for her to come back, knowing he couldn’t live without her and Robert would write of his never-ending love and hope for their future.    
  
But almost a month had past when the first letter came from Robert.

Her hear had sped up and she as almost out of breath in excitement. But her world crumbled when she found nothing of the love she had written about, he wrote to let her know that he would not be her Knight this time. He had a family and a wife to care for, there was no place for a lost love that had chosen to forsake her promise and ran off with a married man. He loved his children and was fond of his wife, Lyanna had no place with him.   
  
The servants carried on their duties as they heard the Stark woman raging in her chambers. The sounds of screaming and shattering echoed off of the stone walls, yet they never went to check on her. They had all heard of the woman that had stolen away with a married man, causing war and countless deaths, so they let her carry on her tantrum and it was only deep into the night when the sounds had stopped that they checked on her.

  
Lyanna waited to hear from Rhaegar, surly he would have forgiven her by now and would beg for her to come back. He might even make his disgusting children kneel in front of her once she went back, where they belonged below her and Jon. Lost in her delusional dreams, Lyanna didn’t even notice the time passing by, so lost in her own mind that it never dawned on her that maybe, Rhaegar wasn’t going to ask her to come back. When servants spoke of Princess Rhaenys’ birthday, they could only turn their head when Lyanna screamed that the only Princess of the realm was going to be the daughter she birthed. When celebrations for Aegon’s position as Crown Prince were proclaimed, she would scream that her son’s position was stolen by a half-breed. 

The months past quickly and soon, word of Rhaegar’s travels to Dorne reached Lyanna’s ear and to say she was furious was an understatement. Word of the tantrum she threw was spoken about throughout the realm, especially when she heard that he had brought that thought to be dead Dornish whore back with him. Finding out that his unlawful first wife was still alive was like being killed, her heart was broken beyond repair and he had done this, he was doing this to be cruel and would ask her to come back soon. She continued to write, some letters making more sense than others, all unread and burned, unknown to Lyanna of course. Her other letters, filled with rambles and half-crazed theories and it never came to her mind, that she was never going to get an answer. 

Before long, she was almost unrecognisable. Her long hair was streaked-grey, wrinkles lined her face and you’d have mistaken her for being more than 20 years older than she was. In her eyes though, Lyanna thought herself to look the same as she did when she was 15, more beautiful than any other woman that would catch Rhaegar’s eye. Even his horrible Dornish whore, Lyanna was sure that Jon would come to his senses one day and come to rescue her. She was certain that he still thought of her, his beautiful and lonely mother, locked up as though she were a criminal. But he would know, she hadn’t done anything wrong, as his mother it was her side he should be on. She erased from her mind, how close her son was to his half-siblings, the bond they shared was so deep that not even a parent’s love could break it. 

Then, she found out it wasn’t only the Dornish woman he had brought back. There were rumours of another woman being with them, silver hair and violet eyes, the name sent panic straight through her body. Visenya had been born to that horrible, ugly Dornish woman and not her. How ugly that girl must be, without her own pearl-white skin and beautiful hair, she must have been unfortunate enough to take after her Dornish mother. 

It wasn’t fair!

That Dornish woman was supposed to be barren after the birth of her son!    
  
How could this have happened!?

Lyanna ignored everything around her, more than she usually did, sometimes going days without eating in hopes that one of the men would come and get her. But Lyanna was not known for her intelligence, and thought still, that maybe even Robert would forsake his wife and children for her. Like Rhaegar had done, all those years ago when they were so in love that not even the children he had with that bitch could tear them apart. Until it did, because Lyanna had done the one thing that she never thought Rhaegar would get angry about, Rhaenys wasn’t important and had she been killed, it would have affected their lives little. She hoped still, to get pregnant and give Rhaegar another child, the thought filled her with joy and even more delusions. There would be no child because he wouldn’t be coming for her.   
  
Finally, it was piled up until Lyanna couldn’t pull herself out anymore, the day she took her life, it was sunny and not a single cloud could be seen. There was a gentle breeze and she had thought that she heard Rhaegar calling for her, his voice deep and full of love. There had been no thoughts in her head, when she stepped out of the window, thinking he would be there to catch her. As she lay bleeding, he had appeared to her, still beautiful and un-human and Lyanna could barely recognise him, until that woman had appeared by his side, arms wrapped around him with a smile.   
  
It was so clear, that Lyanna had lost. She had stolen him once and still, he had gone back to the wife he had abandoned and cared nothing for her anymore. She wanted to scream, and rip that woman’s throat out but she couldn’t because her legs were numb and there was so much blood.   
  
It wasn’t fair.

  
She was supposed to be happy, forever, with Rhaegar and Jon. But she knew, when Jon heard of her death, he would revolt and avenger her death, because it was their fault that she was dead. He would take his rightful place as the Heir, killing that bitch and her basards.    


**Author's Note:**

> This is not to be taken seriously! Please this is honestly just based off of a dream I had and if anyone wanted to write a better version, then please do. I'm begging you!  
> This is my take on what would happen, had Elia had a third child in secret, unknown to anyone save her trusted confidants.  
> Jon Snow is alive but as the child of Ned and Ashara.  
> Lyanna is unable to bear children, because like, fuck her and Rhaegar had in the ass. She marries Robert and gives him nothing but headaches and a drinking problem.  
> Rhaegar is written this way because I think he would be devastated by the deaths of his children and possibly his only TRUE wife. But like, do not mistake it! If I was stuck in a room with Tywin or Rhaegar with only enjoy energy to kill one of them? I would put extra into killing Rhaegar.


End file.
